Spur of the moment today I got a haircut! I've been debating back and forth for quite awhile with what to do with it. Layers? Blunt bangs? Side bangs? Dyed darker? Oh, it was hard to decide! In the end I went the safe route and just got new side bangs cut and also some layers and I love it! My hair is very, very thick and it now it feels positively light as a feather! The ends were really damaged from my frequent styling tool use and spending everyday so far this summer in the chlorinated swimming pool. Yeesh, it was pretty bad. Now my hair feels healthy, swingy, and light! :)
For the next few days I won't be posting any outfit pictures, and possibly might not be in blogger world at all. My season of summer swimming is coming to an end and our big meet is this Friday and Saturday. It's funny, swimming has always been such a huge passion and big part of my life since I was six years old. When I was younger I lived and breathed it. I loved it. I swam in the winter time for a very competitive team, for a summer team, and then in Jr. High School. I was actually really good, too (sorry if I sound braggy!). I won the 200 Freestyle my eighth grade year at OCC championships, won various medals and trophies, and was the champion of the 50 yard backstroke for two years in a row in summer league. As I got older, however, swimming became less like something I enjoyed, and more like something I dreaded. My freshman year of high school I was torn with the decision to swim for my school or not. Practice would be everyday for up to three hours. There would be away meets as far as two hours away. I couldn't shave my legs for four months. And every extra waking moment must be about swimming. All of my life I had trained for high school. It's what I had always looked forward to doing. Suddenly though that year I was so... afraid. How could I finish all my homework? Wouldn't I be exhausted? When would I ever get to see my family and friends...?
I did decide to swim that year, however. It was the hardest four months of my life. I cried and was very depressed, much to the extent where I had suicidal thoughts. I felt somewhat like an outcast with the team and spent long nights doing homework. I did well though, and made it to districts (the only thing higher is state) in two of my events. When the season ended, my coaches knew I was unhappy and didn't want me to quit. They told me I would be throwing away talent. I was being stupid. I would go to state the next year.
All of it didn't matter to me though. I was so unhappy and I didn't love it anymore. If I had gone to state my freshman year I probably would have given my spot to someone else and declined. It just wasn't what I wanted, it wasn't my dream. My sophomore year I didn't swim in high school, and because of that I got the chance to start this blog: my true passion. This blog gives me something that swimming just didn't. True happiness. My coaches still think I made the wrong decision, but I know it was the right one for me. I still swim in the summer time, and plan to until I graduate.
My times are no where near what they were in my prime. I'm forgotten and seen as the " swimmer who quit." I'm not on the best relays or the fastest heats. Truthfully, I don't care though. I still really like to swim. It's great exercise and still fun to do. It just wasn't worth all of the tears and unhappiness. I'm so glad I found something I truly love. :)