SomeoneLikeYou Monday, June 11, 2012
Floral Blouse: Forever21.
Red Skirt (for sale!), White Flats, Fedora Hat: Thrifted.
Basket Weave Clutch: Plato's Closet.
It's been a rough day for me. I feel like I used to, like I've relapsed into previous insecurities. I'm so bad at first impressions. I stutter, I don't know what to say, I make an utter fool out of myself with every syllable that comes out of my mouth. It's not really the bad first impression that bothers me. It's more of the thoughts that plague me afterwards. The regrets, the 'what if's', the i-wish-i-had-done-better. I don't understand what's so hard for me. Why I can't do this. I have so many beautiful, potential friendships that I ruin because I simply can't talk. There's a reason I blog and not make youtube videos. I can sit and think about what I want to write, take my time, let my fingers do the talking instead of my lips....as soon as I open them, it's a disaster.
I'm worried. I'm worried about what's going to happen when I go to Kent. Where every meeting I have with someone is a first impression. And the one I'm most worried about? My roommate. She's so perfect, the friend I've always wanted. I'm just so scared of screwing things up with her and making her dislike me. I feel like it's what I've done with all of my previous relationships. I need this to work out. I need to focus and be myself. Not the bumbling idiot I am 99% of the time.
This Friday I'm going to Kent for my orientation. I'll be there all day, spending the night, and staying half the next day. There will be lots of first impressions that day. I'll tell you how it goes...
With much love, Lauren ♥