Last Day Being 18.

20 comments
Chambray Top, Gold Necklace: Thrifted.
Red Gavinas: Blowfish Shoes.
Nude Ballerina Skirt: c/o OASAP.
Cream Hair Bow: Modcloth.

Tomorrow is my 19th birthday...

...And today is my last day being 18.

It's a strange feeling growing up. Getting older. Moving on. You don't think about it in your day to day life, as the months go by. But when it comes to your birthday, it's a time to think and reflect on the past year. How you've changed, how you've grown, how you've become stronger. Sometimes I don't feel 18. I feel like this little girl, still so innocent and untouched by the horrors of the world thanks to my sheltering parents and a small town. Other times, I feel ancient. Worn down by inner sorrows and struggles, bad days and disappointments in myself. I feel like my forehead should have frown wrinkles, my eyes a hardened sadness, and my feet a bit of a heavier step.

I feel like I just had my18th birthday. I was excited to be an official adult. Open a bank account. Get to vote (which I will this November). I feel like I just had my 17th birthday. Overly enthused about being '17 reading Seventeen.' Looking forward to going to see that R rated movie. It doesn't seem time yet for August 1st to roll around and what that means for me. For this next birthday. My last 'teenage' birthday.

I knew 18th was going to be a big year for me. I could feel it. Eighteen is my favorite number and I wanted to make this year be a year I would remember

When I was looking back at some old posts from last year to get links, it was unbelievable how much I've changed. It wasn't really something I intended, tried, or even noticed. It just sort of happened.

I feel strong. Stronger than I ever have. Even with my recent bouts of depression, I can see and be proud of this girl I've become. I've overcome OCD, I can overcome this depression. I'm the heaviest weight I've ever been, but I don't think I've ever been more happy of my shape. I've had no 'real life friends' like always, but instead of moping around about it, I've accepted this and looked forward to someday having those friends I want. When meeting new people, I don't cower in fear, hiding myself. I'm goofy and weird and awkward and... Lauren.

For one of the first times in my life, I would actually want to be friends with Someone Like Me. I'm proud of this lady I've become. I'm excited for Kent. For starting out being a new, fresh me. Often in high school I wished I could have just started at a new school and shown everyone the 'real me.' Not anything based off preconceived notions, things heard, or biases. I'm looking forward to having a fresh start at being this person I'm finally happy with. And hopefully I can finally find some people who like this person I am, too.

So here's to my last day being 18. It's been the most incredible year and I'm ready to make my last year being a 'teenager' just as swell. Excited to take you along with me!

With much love,
An eighteen year old Lauren.

P.S. Remember the trip I took to Vermillion this past weekend? Hannah and Krissy both did videos on it so if you'd like to see me awkwardly talk, check them out!
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20 lovely little notes:

Marie @ Lemondrop Vintage said...

Love those shoes!

Marie @
Lemondrop ViNtAge

I am having a fabulous giveaway right here.

Lauren said...

oh my gosh you seriously are the cutest thing ever!! I love getting to hear people's voices because it really does change your opinion about them, at least for me. Now you're just even more precious than I imagined! Haha oh and happy birthday!! I hope it's fantastic!

Anonymous said...

I just came across your blog the other night and loved it so much that I looked at all your old posts! You're absolutely gorgeous and your style is so unique and adorable. I've struggled with depression and loneliness too and it is so, so nice to find someone I can relate to. Keep up the awesome work, I can't wait to see more from you!!

Carlee, Almost Endearing said...

Happy birthday tomorrow first of all. You also look so pretty in this outfit I love the color of the skirt! So pretty. And growing up is weird/tough. I turned 20 this year and it is so weird to be out of the teens. It still doesnt seem real sometimes and my birthday was 6 months ago. Enjoy 19!
Carlee

Rachel Olivia said...

Oh, you are an August girl too! My birthday is next Monday. Happy Birthday!

Princesses with Crowns said...

I love your voice! & those shoes make a great bonus to this outfit!

TaNuja said...

HappY HappY haPpy BirthdAY Lauren :)

Happy being 19... >>> :)


Thankyou so so much for leaving comment on my blog. Really! M your one big fan and getting to know that you took out time and visited my blog 'made my day'. :) yeahh!!


I'm still learning the blog thing. Please follow me. It would awesomely encourage me. :)

I'm from India (South Asia).
Have a tour from this part of the amazing big world. :)




Lots oflove and wishes

Tanuja :)



http://tanujasethi.blogspot.in/

http://tanuja-photography.blogspot.in/

Tori said...

Oh Lauren... I just found your blog and instantly fell in love with your style. Then I read your post, you have a gift and a wonderful command of the English language! Can I give you some advice? I just turned 27... not super old, but way older than I feel. I spent my teen years trying to fit in with friends who didn't get me, trying to fulfill others expectations of me and really searching out who I was and wanted to be. I never felt like I belonged in the Small town I grew up in and thus always felt lost and unsatisfied. It has taken me a long time to find out who I am and what I want in life. I feel saddened that it has taken me this long to get here and I often feel frustration for not being further in life. But, enough with my sob story... you are so young and have all the opportunities in the world at your finger tips! Please figure out exactly who Lauren is and be her and never apologize for it! Travel the world, eat until your heart is full and don't keep relationships with negative people. Be young and follow your heart. I am doing all of this... just a little later than I should have ;) I hope you have a splendid birthday!!

http://www.mythriftychic.com/

Tori said...

Oh Lauren... I just found your blog and instantly fell in love with your style. Then I read your post, you have a gift and a wonderful command of the English language! Can I give you some advice? I just turned 27... not super old, but way older than I feel. I spent my teen years trying to fit in with friends who didn't get me, trying to fulfill others expectations of me and really searching out who I was and wanted to be. I never felt like I belonged in the Small town I grew up in and thus always felt lost and unsatisfied. It has taken me a long time to find out who I am and what I want in life. I feel saddened that it has taken me this long to get here and I often feel frustration for not being further in life. But, enough with my sob story... you are so young and have all the opportunities in the world at your finger tips! Please figure out exactly who Lauren is and be her and never apologize for it! Travel the world, eat until your heart is full and don't keep relationships with negative people. Be young and follow your heart. I am doing all of this... just a little later than I should have ;) I hope you have a splendid birthday!!

http://www.mythriftychic.com/

Laura said...

You look beautiful, as always dear! I hope that you have a truly wonderful birthday because you deserve it. :)

xoxo,
Laura http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/

Two Buttons said...

Happy birthday Lauren! I hope you have an amazing day. Reading this post that you wrote for this birthday made my heart so happy, you are beautiful Lauren, and so inspiring. This post was pure joie de vivre and I hope that you will never stop being Someone Like You.
With lots of love,
Jane XXXXXX

http://thetaleoftwobuttons.blogspot.com

Anni said...

I were so happy about your comment (:
you are kind of fashion-role model for me. So cute that you were on my blog (:
Your outfit is wuuuuuuuunderfull. I need a blouse like this, too.

Carina said...

Congratulations Lauren, it's wonderful that you have come to love who you are as your readers do. I wish you all the best in your adult years! (I will be with you all the way for sure)

xx Carina

The Love Hanger said...

Well it is the next day for me, so happy birthday!! I know I've only just discovered your blog, but I feel like every time I read it, I discover something I love. When I was 18 I was so insecure. I had just started college and was over weight, and I decided it had to change. I ended up losing weight and kept it off until I had a baby 2 years ago, and I forced myself to relinquish every moment I had.

College ended up being the best time in my life. I fell in love, I got my heart broken, I studied subjects I thought I wasn't good at and was, and I took risks.

This is your time girl! Be who you want to be and who cares about everyone else. I know it's hard to see it when you're in it, but you already seem so ready to embrace everything. You just have to do it! Much love to you Lauren! <3

toni

Anders Eriksson said...

Absolutely lovely! Nuff said! :) Take care!

Elsha.Rae said...

wow you are gorgeous! and that lip color is bomb!

Nerd Burger said...

HAPPY last day of 18. Man i wish i as 19 again. That was the year.
Love the pastel + jean shirt combo. Totally rad.

Charmaine said...

Happy birthday, pretty lady! I hope 19 treats you well.

Rose-et-Violet said...

First off, Love that denim top and the necklace tucked underneath the collar.
Second: Happy birthday, and here's to a great 19th year :)

-Rose

maggeygrace said...

This outfit is amazing.

Also, it should be noted that a close friend of mine who is younger than me and kind of like a little sister who reads my blog asked me if I ever read "Someone Like You". My reply? YESYESYES! She's the sweetest girl ever and has read my blog a few times! Ha.

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