Killing Me Slowly.

169 comments

Plum Lace Dress: Forever21.
Black Spiked Heels: TJ Maxx.
Red Beret: Target.
Gold Cameo: Thrifted.

It's a wonderful feeling to have friends. People who care about you. In high school, I always vehemently claimed that I didn't have any friends, that I was a complete loner. Looking back now though, I realized that I had so many friends that I didn't even realize I had. It makes me so sad I didn't appreciate them when I was at that point in my life. I thought having friends meant having someone who was exactly like you; had all of your common interests and was in synch with your thoughts. Turns out I had a really narrow definition of friends (and probably the reason why I didn't have many). Now I'm realizing now that in high school I had so many people there for me, accepting me as I was and being there for me. It didn't take them being bloggers, owning a camera, and spending the evening making up outfits to be my friend. Just being there for me was enough.

It makes me angry at myself for having such a narrow view and closed mind about having friends in high school. Why didn't I see the bigger picture? Why didn't I appreciate what I had? Because all of us appreciate things more when they're gone and I do miss the people from my hometown. They knew me by name, knew my passions, my loves, my life. As much as I thought they didn't know me...they knew me better than I knew myself.

So I'm trying to go into college with a more open mind. I don't have to have OHMYGOSH have every single thing in common with someone to be their friend. Just having an open heart to listen and understand and care is enough. Things have been working pretty well, too. I went out to lunch with two gals and talked for hours and then had a nail painting party tonight with them. Everything was so simple, but I appreciated it so much these girls will never know or realize. And I felt myself and comfortable with them, not the awkward girl who usually hides all of her flaws. But just Lauren today. She was enough.

Even though these past few days have been rough for me emotionally with everything that's been going on...having this little light has been a good distraction. It makes me feel alive and not like a sobbing, sad, walking mess. Tomorrow morning I'm going back home for the weekend and I.am.so.excited. I miss home, but I'm not homesick. Does that make sense? Probably not. I like my life here, but sometimes you just want to go back to familiarity. I just miss things. My bed. My kitty. Taking a bath instead of a shower (that's been a rough one). And especially my family. I miss them a lot. A lot, a lot.

With much love, Lauren.
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169 lovely little notes:

TaNuja said...

Its never too late to make up for friends and now welcoming nice people as friends with open arms.


We shouldn't set criteria for making friends or any relationship. But accept them as they are. Because we equally like being accepted as 'We' are. :)


You look pretty Lauren :)


Ya understand how it feels missing home and not being particularly homesick. I have been away like that. But see, when you are next going to meet them, You are gonna love them even more. :)



Love
Tanuja

http://tanujasethi.blogspot.in/

Em [The Writer] said...

It's good your going home this weekend, it'll be refreshing and you can clear your mind. I really enjoyed this post because I have that same friend problem. I think though, in the end, everyone has a little something to contribute to your life as a friend. They don't have to be close to you but it's nice when that special friend comes along who's your other half. I know you'll find that person at college!

Laura said...

You look lovely, hon! I'm glad that you are meeting some new gal pals! :)

Enjoy your weekend home, but just some free advice, not that you asked for it, I would strongly encourage you not to go home every weekend, because there are just so many fun things going on over the weekend too! :)

xoxo,
Laura
http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/

Sianna said...

Purple lace and studded heels - I love it!

With one of the last e-mails we exchanged when I told you it's all gonna be okay I was gonna add just be more open minded, but I wasn't sure if it's okay to say it. But it is good to realise it by yourself. And don't worry you will meet people who you both lots in commont and who you don't but they are still are nice company to hang out with and great people even though you don't have tht much in common =)

Et tu, tutu? said...

Wow, you're so right! Thanks for sharing. :)

And I knowwww! I just left for uni today and I miss my kitty already. :'(

Oh, and love the outfit, of course. :)

-Lindsey

Jamie Rose said...

Yes I definitely understand the thing about having a narrow definition of friends. I sometimes feel the way you felt, then I realize I have a bunch even if we're not hanging out all the time or exactly the same. It's good to go into college with an open mind because you never know who you'll meet!

Also, I love this combination of red and purple so much. I may have to try this out sometime soon! I really love your spiked heels too. They're so cool!

Zane said...

glad to hear that you're having good time and making new friends :)

Inês de Castro said...

I feel the same. I only consider my true friends a few group of people, that I know that will never fail me :) I love the more autumny outfit! Love the dress and the heels!

irene wibowo said...

love your dress and heels.. :)

Irene Wibowo

Elizabeth Gibbs said...

So glad your making some friends! (: I have had the same problem. I love your dress. Your hair looks really cute too.

Lizzy <3
www.prettymodestbffs.blogspot.com

Jay said...

None of my best friends have anything seriously in common with me. They're artsy film majors, I'm studying to be a counselor, haha. But it's fun to have friends who aren't your twin, because it gives you a glimpse of a different lifestyle without having to change your own. :)

Important question: do you walk around campus in heels? I have always wished I had that talent, haha! I truly admire your coordination and leg strength. :p I love this outfit! And those heels!!

Anisha Pradahn said...

Good to know you are feeling positive about college. Hope you find friends who turn into family :)
Following you now! Love the post and the blog.

❤Not Just My Allegories❤

Anisha Pradahn said...

Good to know you are feeling positive about college. Hope you find friends who turn into family :)
Following you now! Love the post and the blog.

❤Not Just My Allegories❤

mrs. Kitty Constance said...

You're so cute! <33

Beautifully Pure said...

Ooh! I love your dress! I'm glad you're going into college with a more open mind. :D

Are you free for a skype chat tomorrow? I'm dying to talk to you agian!! <3

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I h r e E i g e n h e i m h y p o t h e k w i r d u n p r o b l e m a t i s c h h o e h e r s e i n , s o f e r n J e n e I h r e n E i g e n h e i m h y p o t h e k e n v e r l e i h e r i n k e i n e r w e i s e m i t w i c h t i g e S o r g f a l t w a e h l e n . E s g i b t m e h r e r e v o n i h n e n d a d r a u s s e n , f e r n e r s i e o f f e r i e r e n v e r s c h i e d e n e T e m p o s f u e r . V e r s u c h e n J e n e , a m m e i s t e n T a s c h e f r e u n d l i c h v o n s e i t e n i h n e n a l l . Z u f i n d e n ,



j e n e r z w e i t e V e r l e i h e r h e r a u f I h r e r E i g e n h e i m h y p o t h e k h a e l t f u e r w i c h t i g e R i s i k o . A l s R e s u l t a t s o l l t e n J e n e e r w a r t e n , f a l l s s i e I h n e n d e n h o e h e r e n Z i n s b e r e c h n e n w u e r d e n . A u c h d a n a c h h a b e n J e n e d i e z u b e k a e m p f e n d e O p t i o n i s t g e n a u s o v i e l , d e n n J e n e k o e n n e n . M a c h e n S i e I h r B e s t e s , u m d e r A b b i l d u n g u n t e n v o r I h n e n r a v e . Z u b r i n g e n ,
hauskauf finanzierungsrechner

Anonymous said...

Du wirst zu nach sich ziehen, um ehrlich nach position beziehen einige pers?nliche Fragen, um eine angemessene Depesche zu den guenstigsten Preisen zu erhalten. Diese muessen gegenseitig Fragen L?nger als Ihre Gesundheit, als bereits erw?hnt Antwort zukommen lassen sowie Zu ganz anderen pers?nlichen Artikel, jedoch diese Entgegnen werden Ihnen unterstuetzen, Lebensversicherung z. hd. Sie. Die Pr?mien werden durch man Versicherer zu dem ganz anderen variieren, aber man konnte zahlt so weit wie 50% mehr Geld mit noch viel milde Erkrankungen. Es gibt einige Versicherer aber, eine gute einzig zu belangen, Falls es um wichtige issues.Once kommt man fertig ausgefuehrt nach sich ziehen die Ihre Preisvergleichen jedes detail, was uebrig bleibt, wirkt fuer Die police nach entscheiden, welche Tun Diese einander aber fuehlen Gesch?fte mit und ausserdem sp?terhin gute niedrigste w?hlen- Treffer aus dem Kreis Der Unternehmen - oder gibt es fuer sie die besten Preise fuer Versicherung, dass Diese m?glicherweise within Ihrem Gegend nach bekommen, und ebenfalls Die police werden Geld sparen jeden Monat fuer eine perfekte kommenden Jahre.
Hausratversicherung Preisvergleich

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Anonymous said...

Hier hoffe ich, sollten Die police jetzt sofort betrachten, dass eine perfekte Hypothek sollte durch Aussehen de finanziellen Fahrzeug zu am steuer sein und ebenfalls weitere Anhaeufung durch Reichtum und ebenfalls Ihres Vermoegens werden. Es sollte eigentlich eine Vorteil, und ausserdem auf keinen fall alleinig eine Schuld, eine Buerde. Wenn Diese z. hd. Ihr Haus oder Ihre Hypothek arbeiten, sollten Die police mit Ihrem Haus sowie Hypothek fuer Die police arbeiten, jawohl wie Die police Ihr Geld sollte fuer Die police funktionieren. Sorgfaeltige, strategischen und ebenfalls richtige Hypothek Planung wirkt diese grundlegende Winkelzug aus dem traditionellen Denkweise, dass verehrt und ausserdem verherrlicht die 30-jaehrige fest Verdanken. Anheben (Gesang) Die police gute Investition in diese Bank betreffend Ihnen heute. Es scheint, dass Amerikas politische Parteien einander ziehen eine Vereinbarung Oberhalb mindestens eine Schwierigkeit within unserer Nation Wirtschaftskrise, Fannie Mae und beteiligt kommen Freddie Mac muss beseitigt werden. Gute beiden Gehaeuseteile finanzieren Riesen einander ziehen zu einer Vorkommen der Scham zu haenden die, mit ihnen wegen welcher Schluesselrolle, gute sie inside diese Entwicklungsverlauf unserer Volkswirtschaft Laenger als den Gefuege gespielt haben beteiligt. Sobald Fannie Mae erstmals uff ( berlinerisch ) eine gute Szene im Jahr 1938 als Teil von Roosevelts New Deal, es in dem Grunde erhoeht den Regierungen Part within welcher amerikanischen oekonomie und hatte zwei Vorteile: die 30 Jahres-Hypothek und ausserdem das Versprechen, dass, falls die Hypothek rein Zahlungsverzug kam, wollte dies Finanzministerium Datensicherung. Freddie Mac wurde 1970 eingefuehrt und ausserdem war in dem Grunde einzig z. hd. den Wettbewerb hinaus dem Hypothekenmarkt erstellt. Welcher wesentliche (adj.: antezedent) zu haenden diese Darlehen war die Verfuegbarkeit betreffend Hypotheken nach erhoehen. Allerdings koennte Die Lieblings-Hypothekendarlehen aller amerikanischen Kreditnehmer seit den 1950er Jahren wahrscheinlich das weiterkommen Luxus geworden.
Ratenkredit Vergleich

Anonymous said...

Welches sollte ich mit meine Hypothek nach tun? Das erscheint eine gute Fragestellung hoere ich viel inside solchen Tagen. Das uns erscheint Welcher Ziel, Falls ich mich bezahlen eine gute wichtigsten? Gute Zinsen werden niedrig, sollte ich nach refinanzieren? Meine Antwort: Das haengt im bereich Ihren Zielen sowie Ihrer individuellen finanziellen Situation. Wirklich keine einzige Antwort z. hd. jegliche. (Rauchsignal:.. Dieser Schnaeppchen gilt ueberhaupt nicht zu haenden diejenigen, die einen und / oder ganz anderen Voraussetzung auf keinen fall leisten koennen, weiterhin ihre monatlichen Hypothek bezahlen Diese Menschen besitzen eine weitere sowie anspruchsvollere Herausforderung) Als ich mein erstes Haus schon vor Jahrzehnten gekauft, ich hatte nur eine Erlaeuterung - diese monatliche Zahlung. Ich habe nicht Etwas ueber den Summe geliehen und / oder den Zinssatz oder eine gute Laenge der Hypothek oder diese Abgaben und / oder den Gesamtbetrag der Zinsen wuerde ich loehnen Pflege. Ich war einzig ueber die monatliche Zahlung betrifft - jemals niedriger, desto besser. Sofort mit Lebenserfahrung sowie mehrjaehrige Berufserfahrung aufwaerts meiner Internetseite, ich kann besser sehen weitere Faktoren, wirkt dies wichtigste was zu haenden mich kann ich meine Hypothek pfad, Falls meine regulaere Arbeit Einkommen anhaelt. Als Ihr Leben oder finanzielle Situation aendert, wird Ihre Hypothek Zielsetzung Bearbeiten zugleich mit ihm.
Kredit ohne Schufa

Anonymous said...

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Eine perfekte variable Hypothek ist wirklich die promotion Bankdarlehen, Eine gute eine feste einleitenden Zinssatz Features nach fuer einen gewissen C nach kurzer Zeitdauer zu bekommen - sowie nach userer Zeitdauer, Diese Hypothek aenderungen und auch nach herunter abhaengig von der Darlehens-Marge, Abklemmen, plus der Index, dass dies Darlehen gebunden erscheint. Fast immer, die tatsaechliche festen Zinssatz an Eine perfekte angegebene Strecke betreffend Dauer schlanker als herkoemmliche 17-46 jaehrlich festgesetzt Hypothek Produkte sowie solutions.What unzaehligen Bewerbern wirkt aber niemals in von Lage nach verstehen scheinen, dass diese Darlehen Beamten sowie Hypothek Makler tun (umgangssprachlich) aufwaerts Engagement within von Feststellung, ob nun das weiterkommen Kreditnehmer ebenfalls kenntnisreich wirkt, um eine Haus Hypothekendarlehen nach sich. Sobald es als Reihe des Drahtes erreicht, kann Diese frueher mit einer geringeren Unzahl an Tagessatz als wirklich keine Tagessatz gen alle zufrieden. Oder hier haben Sie Eine perfekte Zimmer nach substituieren sowie die Flucht ein Ballen Geld umgehend, plus aufwaerts Eine gute Nutzungsdauer von Hypothek Kredit.You koennen Risiken und Chancen finden, Falls es um Beruecksichtigung einer 5-jaehrigen variabel verzinslichen Hypothek kommt. Welcher Vorteil erscheint, dass man Eine gute Zu Buche schlagen mittels Blockieren inside man niedrigeren Zinssatz mit den ersten fuenf Jahren nach abspecken (umgangssprachlich). Auszeichnungen sind normalerweise geringer, jemals kuerzer die Promotion-Zeitraums auf diese Praegung von Hypothek, so eine kuerzere variablem Zinssatz wuerde abzueglich Zinssatz nach sich ziehen, Fuer den fall dass das langfristig Hypothek verglichen.zusaetzliches Kapital Reduktion Bezuege monatlich und / oder dreimonatlich nach versuchen, Lebensdauer des Darlehens zu verkuerzen. Geld wirtschaften mit man variablen Zinssatz mit fuer einen niedrigeren Zinssatz z. hd. Diese feste einleitenden Intervall kann Ihnen beistehen, folgende zusaetzlichen Bezuege zu leisten.



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