Real.

23 comments
Floral Crown: Handmade.
Pleated Cream Skirt, Silver Pendant Necklace: Thrifted.
Nude Oxfords, Pearls, Lace Peter Pan Collar Top (actually a dress): Forever21

Sometimes it doesn't seem real that I should be leaving this place in a few, short months. The little coves I've come to discover and happen upon. The nooks in the forest I call home. The places that give me comfort where I can just sit, think, and reflect. Sometimes I don't want to leave. I don't want to go to a place I'm not familiar with. I don't want to have to learn the in's and out's all over again. I don't want to get lost and confused. I want my home, where I've always been.

Sometimes it doesn't seem real.

With much love, Lauren.

Remix #11.

9 comments
Remixed Item: Black Lace Dress, Forever21.

Hello everyone!
This black lace dress has been in the back of my mind for awhile now for a remix. Besides the tan trench coat I did in my last remix post, this is probably the an item I've had a long time in my closet! It's the perfect little romantic yet basic piece in my wardrobe. It has worked well not only as a dress, but a skirt, as well! One thing I've noticed is that I wore a lot of neutral, muted, and dark tones with this dress. In the future when I wear it I plan on pairing some brighter colors with it!

Hope you all are having a lovely weekend

With much love, Lauren. 

PS. Other remix posts;

PPS. I recently did an interview for the lovely site SmashionHere it is if you'd like to sneak a peek!

You'll Be Alright.

10 comments
Denim Dress, Cream Infinity Scarf: Target.
Navy Blazer: H&M.
Tan Flats: Thrifted.
Pearl Bracelets: Forever21.
Hair Bow: Modcloth.

Hello lovely dreamers!
I can't thank you enough for your help on yesterday's post. Seriously, my throat was so tight with emotion as I read all of your encouraging words. The fact that you all take time out of your busy days to write with such passion and emotion to help and reach out to me in incredible...I mean, you all don't know me but you have given me more kindness than most people in my life have. For that, I am truly eternally grateful!

I'm still feeling down, but not as down as I have been. With the help of you all and the arrival of the weekend my spirits have been greatly lifted! It's been awhile since I went adventuring to find a new place to take outfit photos, and I figured today was as good as any day to immerse myself into nature and find a new hidden world.

I was so pleased after quite a bit of walking to find this little part of the woods with a crooked tree. When taking outfit pictures, I don't know...I just know when the place is right. I try a lot of different areas before I settle on the right scenery for an outfit and the mood I want to convey. This little place was perfect. Soft sunlight came through the growing leaves of the trees, and the birds were chirping happily all around me. I thought a crooked tree was a perfect and interesting little backdrop to my usual plain path in the forest, so here are the results of my adventure! Looking forward to this weekend to see if I can find any other new spots.

Hope you all are doing wonderful and happy weekend!
With much love, Lauren.

Blackest Black.

20 comments
Lace Dress: Forever21.
Black Tie Boots: H&M.
Black Beret: Target.
Gold w/ Black Stone Ring: Thrifted.

Often times my outfits reflect my mood. The first words out of my dad's mouth this morning were, "well you look very Gothic." My response? "Reflects my mood. Perfect."

I've been having a rough time lately. I seem to be stumbling around more than I'd like. I only have one month until I'm done with school, twenty actual days left, and graduation is right around the corner. I seem to be struggling though to hang on in this last stretch. Everything feels like it's crashing in all around me.

I'm not a smart person as much as my classmates like to think I am. I've taken almost all of the advanced courses at my school, maintained an above 4.0 g.p.a. and been in the top percentage for my class since day one. None of this came without strife though. I am actually an incredibly stupid human being. I don't comprehend material right away, but have to look over concepts again and again. I cry at the drop of a hat if I don't understand, and completely shut down allowing no information to sink through. I can't not study- I will fail. I have to study for hours and hours for anything to sink in...Sometimes I contemplate whether or not I have a learning disorder because I just don't get things in school. It's so frustrating.

As a freshman, sophomore, and even junior I spent all of my nights and weekends studying. It's all I would do because I wanted to be in the top of my class, considered for scholarships, get into a good college. But as I hit my senior year something happened. I lost all of my gumption to study for some reason, and my classes became impossible. They weren't impossible because I wasn't trying, but because I had finally reached my maxed out level where succeeding requires less of studying endlessly and more of actually comprehending quickly.

I'm at a point where I'm completely frustrated at school. I can't seem to do good in any of my classes which worries me. I mean, I know a B most my classes (okay some are B-'s) isn't necessarily bad, but for my parents it isn't acceptable. Getting these good grades all through high school hasn't been for myself. It's been to please my parents and make them proud of me. I feel like I haven't really done anything in my life to make them proud. I used to swim competitively, but I quit that. I used to play an instrument, but I quit that. I've never been really talented at anything, so I figured my grades were the only thing I had going for me. Without them though...I just feel like I've disappointed my parents so much. Like they have nothing to be proud of me of. At graduation I won't be the girl with 100 scholarships or the girl who went to state. I won't be the girl who won solo and ensemble. I won't be the girl who is popular, well liked, and missed by her classmates. I'll just be Lauren.

All my life I wondered what sort of 'legacy' I'll leave behind, and I still always wonder this. What do I have to my name to call my own? I just feel like I've let my parents down so much lately. I want to make them proud of me and right now I'm at a loss of how to do that.

My slipping grades as a senior in high school also make me worried for what is to come in college. I'm a horrible test taker (I get freaked out and forget everything) and it makes me scared to think about how I'll do in college. Where the classes are even harder. Do you all know what my worst fear is? Not succeeding when I go to college. Having to drop out of Kent, come back home, go to the branch college, and tell all of my friends, family, and classmates that I couldn't do it. I couldn't be on my own, go to school, and succeed. These thoughts keep me up at night and haunt me. I don't want to be a failure. I don't want to always be the stupid girl. I want to be someone.

I know this is a rambly post. I know it probably doesn't mean anything to any of you, but for me I just needed to write. To get all of this out and make it...real. Not something I make up in my mind.

With much love, Lauren.

P.S. Don't mind my hair in these pictures. I realize it looks ghastly! I really need it cut and colored, but I'm afraid to do anything so close to prom. So don't mind my damage hair. Yikes, just look the other way.
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