Happy Halloween!

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Debutant Dress: Fleet Collection Competition Win.
Binocular Necklace: Giveaway Win from Triple Thread.
Beige Cardigan: H&M.
Gold Earrings, T-Strap Heels: Thrifted.
Red Bow Belt: c/o OASAP.

Hello beautiful ladies (and possibly gents?) ♥

Hope you all had a ghoulishly great holiday today. I ventured out into the cold and rain to take some pictures of my outfit in my new dress that I received for winning the Found By Fleet Collection contest! I couldn't have done it without you guys and because of that, I have a little surprise I'm going to share with you soon! This will be the treat in trick or treat...as for the trick? Well, I'm not that clever (or mean) so I'll just leave you with a treat! :D

I've got to finish up a fashion project for tomorrow, go get dinner at the 'haunted dining hall' where they're having Halloween themed dinner, meet up with a friend, and then go to NAVS later...Oh, AND.

Schedule my classes tonight. Which I'm freaking out about. Big, big time. I think I've given myself an ulcer about it because I'm stressing my classes will be taken, there's going to be a problem, the list goes on...so if you're up at exactly 12:01 tonight send a little prayer this way to me ;)

With much love, Lauren.

P.S. Here's a little collage of some ghosts of my Halloween costumes past, heh. 

Primrose.

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Denim Top, Lavender Cardigan, Floral Skirt, T-Strap Heels: Thrifted.
Pink Satchel: Plato's Closet.
Beret: American Apparel.

Hello everyone!
Sandy is doing some major damage to us even here in Ohio. Classes were cancelled today which is INCREDIBLY rare, but it was such a treat. I got to catch up a lot with friends and do 'homework.' Ha, not really but what I should have been doing ;)

This was actually yesterday's outfit which I was stupid enough to wear. Sometimes I think it's still summer and well, it's clearly and certainty not...I usually try to grin and bare it for outfit pictures outside but with the hurricane raging on I couldn't take the winds and downpour so to the floor lounge I went! I have never gotten so many weird looks from my floor mates. If they already didn't think I was crazy it is without a doubt confirmed now...ha.

And call me weird, but I actually love this weather we're having. It's cozy, comforting, and makes me want to snuggle up in a blanket with Taylor Swift on replay, sipping a cafe mocha and reading blogs all day. But then again...I am a weird one

Hope you all are safe and dry!
With much love, Lauren.

Halloween Weekend!

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Hello everyone ♥♥

I don't get how people don't like Halloween. It's always been a favorite holiday of mine; dressing up and getting into character the best part, of course! I've made my costume for the past five years and every year I try to out do myself...I knew I wanted my first 'college Halloween costume' to be special and unique- something no one else would be. I took inspiration from my favorite childhood T.V. character, Helga from Hey Arnold. She is literally me; always in love with guys who don't want her, haha, and admittedly I had a unibrow for quite some time as a little girl (although not such an intense one).

I took one of my dad's t-shirts and painted it and made my locket. I bought a wig at Target that was actually half blue (it was all they had!) , but managed to cut out the tracks of it and get make it all blonde. I went to the NAV Halloween party with my two friends Jordi and Sky who are both fashion majors, as well! We got ready together and took your typical 'college hallway before the party' pictures and were seriously laughing our heads off...probably to quite the distaste of my hall mates. We went to the party where an entire group of people dressed up as the cast of The Hunger games, there was a group of The Walking Dead, a man dressed as a Barbie, and even a Sim! NAVS is honestly the greatest group of people I've ever met and it was so fun to experience Halloween with them in a clean, safe way. I won the costume contest for best character, ate entirely too many cookies, and of course broke it out on the dance floor with my fellow NAVers. Life was incredible that night.

On Saturday was Kent's Halloween and it's the biggest event of the year. Thousands of people go out and it's absolutely crazy. Arrests, swat teams, tear gas. The works and unlike anything you've ever seen before. I was super bummed and upset because I was just in my dorm, laying in bed listening to all of the people yelling and screaming, having fun outside. I just got so sad because I wanted to be like eveyone else...have a good time and just live life. But then I got frustrated at myself because I know I hate parties, I know I don't drink...so why did I feel like I was missing something? Upset I went to Jordi and Sky's dorm and we talked it out and watched Stick It and ate spicy Doritos until 2 in the morning. They walked me back to my dorm and we decided to do a little adventuring along the way...

I honestly felt like I was in a movie. It was around three in the morning when we went out and everyone was so completely messed up it was unreal. Having to be carried, throwing up, police cars and sirens everywhere...ya know, the works. It was hilarious to people watch and I'd have to say the highlight phrase of the night was the guy who told us not to go down the street unless our titties were out. Gosh, I died

I didn't get to bed until 4 in the morning but I was just so...indescribably happy. I love my friends and I love NAVS and I love that I enjoyed my weekend without being under the influence. I'm just so thankful for everything and I know that God is working is so many ways I can't even wrap my head around...I hope you all had a fantastic Halloween weekend, as well! ♥

With much love, Helga Lauren.

Weird Feelings.

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Pink Blazer, Lace Blouse, Floral Skirt: Thrifted.
Infinity Scarf: Target.
Cream Loafers: c/o Pink and Pepper.

Healing is this really weird concept. Every one does it differently. At different paces, different times, different ways, with different vices...each one of us deals with healing in a special way and each of our journeys is magnificent.

I've been really confused the past few weeks. I went through my first two and a half months of college an angry, bitter, sobbing mess over my breakup. Every day, no matter how lovely things were going I was sad. I cried, was hurt, angry, and had such a closed mind to ever getting better. And then one night everything just changed. It was the worst night in the two and a half months, and was feeling emotionally destroyed. Then the next morning I wake up and I'm not angry anymore. I didn't cry anymore. I didn't hate him and wish things were different and write angry journal entries every night about everything. 

All I do anymore is think about how this happened and why it happened. I really can't wrap my head around it. How can I be so miserable for months and weeks on end and then just...stop? How can I go a whole day without thinking about him when two weeks ago I couldn't even go an hour? How did my nightmares stop, being replaced by sweet dreams and aspirations I have? How did the pain in my stomach, the physical pain, of thinking of him with another girl all of a sudden subside? I just don't get it and there's never been anything in my life that has puzzled me so much (it even tops AP Calc).

I get angry sometimes because I just don't understand how it can kill me one day and then be fine the next. Even though it's so cut and dry, it doesn't mean I still don't have intense feelings about the whole thing. My love for him hasn't gone away- I would still do anything and everything to help him because he was my best friend...the person I cared for most in life. But instead of feeling this bitterness towards him that I felt before, I don't. I'm at a place where if he comes back someday to be my friend, he comes back. If he doesn't; well, then he doesn't.

I stayed in a crappy five year relationship because I was too scared of being without him. I didn't stay because I was in love with him...I stayed because I was too scared to be defined as just Lauren. I didn't think I could make friends or be on my own or live a fulfilling life without him. Looking back, I realize how silly and juvenile all of that was and that I would have been just fine...in fact, I'm realizing that he held me back from so much in life. I just hope I didn't do the same to him.

Moving on is hard because honestly, I don't want to. Often I think I want to be sad and miserable and hate him just because that's all I've ever known and all that's familiar. It's like leaving your parents house after you graduate. Even though you want so much out of life and want to do everything, you still want comfort, familiarity, and the promise of love. I think the hardest thing for me these past few weeks have been accepting in my mind that my heart is moving on. Now here's where I get super angry as myself and ashamed. I have a crush on a guy. A silly little crush. I wonder sometimes how it happened, why it happened, and how exactly I could let it happen. Shouldn't I be miserable and crying still? Shouldn't I still be pining after him, holding onto the love of my life? Does it make me a bad person to have feelings for someone else? I feel like I'm cheating on him by having this crush even though it's the silliest thing in the world because we've been broken up for almost three months now and he's been dating someone for quite awhile. Why do I feel so ashamed?

I guess because I still love him. Not in love, but love him and know that my heart is where he is, no matter who comes into and out of my life he will always be number one and I don't want that to slip away. Nothing will come out of this crush, I know it won't. The guy hardly even knows I exist and frankly, I don't want him to. Even though I have these feelings, I know that I'm not ready to move on. I lost so much of myself in my past relationship without even realizing it. Rediscovering who Lauren is has been just...so much fun. I've learned things about myself that I never knew and have been finding out what I lost and how to get it back. I've especially realized how much I need to work on my relationship with Him and I don't want any guy coming between that. I have too much going for me to move backwards now.

So I'm at this weird place with a bunch of weird feelings and just feeling weird in general. But I like weird. It's not sad, it's not hurt, and it's not bitter. 

It's the perfect place for moving on, yet still keeping someone in your heart, and most importantly finding out about yourself along the way. One teeny tiny step at a time.

With much love, Lauren.

Someone Explain To Me...

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Orange Lace Dress: Fig Leaf.
Mustard Beret: Target.
Brown Wedges: Thrifted.
Floral Necklace: Forever21.

...how is it 80 degrees in Ohio, in October?
...how am I wearing a sleeveless dress for outfit pictures?
...how can life be so beautiful?
...how, how, how?

With much love, Lauren.

Autumnal Happiness.

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Peter Pan Collar Top: Forever21.
Hounds tooth Skirt: Thrifted.
Red Cardigan: Old Navy.
Red Heels: Blowfish Shoes.

Why hello there lovely ladies and gents!

Ahh, you all have no idea how wonderful it is to be able to come to this blog everyday to people who love and accept me. This blog has gotten me through so much in the almost three years I've had it, and I'm excited as always to keep taking it with me. It's gotten me through a lot of dark times over the years, but I just have this really good feeling that this is the start of a new chapter in my life that is much brighter  ♥

It's funny because I used to be really into 1940's and 1950's vintage when I was in high school but I've really grown to have quite the love for the 1960's lately. Been teasing my hair up, wearing lots of eyeliner, and of course 60's silhouettes. Although the other day when I was at the fashion library I got to look at books containing ORIGINAL Vogue patterns from 1949 and I was pretty much having a heart attack. Maybe I'll just have a shared love for all three decades at once? Yep, sounds good to me!

It is blissfully warm and beautiful here and I am soaking up all of this autumnal beauty...life is just beautiful in general, you know? 

And if you've emailed me in the past one or two weeks and haven't received an answer back so sorry about that! With the conference this weekend + DROWNING in work I've had the hardest time getting back to you all...but I want to thank you for the absolutely heart melting emails as of late because they have been even more extraordinary than usual! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

With much love, Lauren.

You Make Me New.

420 comments
Denim Button Up: Target.
White Eyelet Dress: Delia's.
Pearl Necklace an Bracelets: Forever21.
Tan Riding Boots: Old Navy.

Hello, hello everyone and long time no see!

How I missed you all, but I had the most incredible, life changing weekend... It sounds so corny but I feel like a totally new person. A new Lauren. The happiest Lauren I've ever been. Not just saying I'm happy, but really and truly feeling it from the bottom of my soul. I've never felt this before.

I went on a retreat this weekend with a Christian group called The Navigators (NAVS) to Indiana. I spent two and a half days , realizing that I've been living for nothing the past 19 years of my life. I was raised Catholic and went to church every single Sunday, almost never missing a single mass. I was baptized, confirmed, and the whole shebang. I thought I was a follower of Him and I never really doubted anything.

But I've been lonely my entire life. Let down time after time with people I love with all my heart. I've felt depressed, suicidal, empty, and everything and anything a person should NOT feel in their life. It took going to this retreat this weekend to realize what I've been lacking and saying what I've had and what I've been for all of my life when in fact...I'm not.

I've been living a lie for so long I can't even remember when it started. I get to this retreat and everyone is so advanced and just leagues and leagues ahead of me. I felt like an infant. I realized, truthfully, (and boy is this embarrassing) that I don't even know how to use a bible. I literally don't. And I was so filled with anger at myself for wasting 19 years of my life ,going through the motions and not giving myself to Him with all my heart.

On Saturday we had a huge worship session and there was a time where the band played and sang and everyone could silently pray. And for some reason, I just became so overwhelmed as I realized...' what am I doing with my life?' I went over to one of the staff members and just collapsed into her arms, a sobbing, shaking mess because I realize that I've been trying to find love in all the wrong places for so many years.

The reason I've felt so empty is because I haven't given myself to Him and haven't relied on Him to be the only one who will never let me down. He will be the only one who will always love me unconditionally.

I left Indiana with a lot on my mind and I still do have a lot on my mind. Ever since last Saturday when I went home for the weekend and had one of the lowest points in my life...I've just felt this unexplainable happiness and peace. I think that God realized that night when Matt went to homecoming with another girl that I needed help and I needed Him. And then then Sunday morning, as crazy as it sounds, I was just...better. I don't know why, I don't know how, but from last Sunday, all of last week, this past weekend, and even today I have been filled with this happiness that I have never felt before in my entire life. It's incredible.

I'm not going to turn this into a Christian blog or anything, but I just thought it was really important to share this weekend and these changes I've been going through lately. I know religion/believing is a touchy subject, but it seems like all I write about are touchy subjects on here so I suppose it fits right in, ha! But like I said, it was an important milestone I feel in my life that I wanted to tell you all about just like I do with everything else big that happens. 

I'm just so happy everyone. I can't even tell you. So, so happy.

With much love, Lauren.

Life's Snapshots #20.

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It's an assignment to look at beautiful, vintage, couture dresses...? Love my major.

 
Always matching my lipstick to my dresses.

Such a strong issue I support!

 
You can't go wrong with a cake pop. Especially a Raspberry flavored one.

 
I miss this handsome guy so much already....sigh.

My sister was a lucky little birthday girl.

 
Pumpkin Spice dress?

Mixing a Cafe Mocha with a Pumpkin muffin.

 
It's the most wonderful time of the year (Fall, not Christmas; although it is a close second).

 
Obviously I buy important things with my meal plan.


I take way too many pictures of my coffee. But then again, I drink way too much coffee.

 
What beauty ♥

Hello!
 It's been quite a fall filled past few weeks here at college. Traditional Halloween treats and drinks, changing fall foliage, and  some pretty cooler weather fashion, too of course! I've been enjoying this season to the fullest and couldn't be more thrilled.

Finished my flats today and am so relieved! Only two get too more massive projects though...ha. Jeeze, college work is truly never ending. Greatly looking forward to my conference retreat this weekend from Friday to Saturday. I probably won't be on here from then on, so here's to a beautiful weekend everyone! x

With much love, Lauren.

P.S. You can follow me on instagram with @passingwhimsies
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