Come Sail Away With Me.
SomeoneLikeYou Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Vintage 60's Sailor Shirt and Penny Loafers: Inherited.
Satin Skater Dress: c/o Lulu*s.
Red Bow Hat: Thrifted.
Why hello, hello there!
Glad to be back to you all :)
It's weird. It's been a year since I was diagnosed with depression last July and I think about my life now. How so much has changed in just a year. I think about my unhappiness and the darkness that I felt and it makes me shudder that I would have to go through that. And it's so odd because I was brought back through all that yesterday; but this time it wasn't through me.
I visited a girl in the psychiatric unit of the hospital yesterday. She was a friend of a friend who wanted to meet me and I thought, what could it hurt? She had been checked in for depression with dangerous thoughts; what I had last July. I went to the hospital, a place I've literally never been, and walked to the third floor. I had to use a loud speaker to get in because the doors are so tightly secured and monitored. I walked into the stark, stark white rooms and looked at the people who's eyes had no life in them, no hope. I just wanted to hug them and say, 'there is hope. there is life outside these walls and it is beautiful.'
I went to her room which they are not allowed to decorate and it had been her third day there. I talked with her about anything she wanted, listening to her story with open ears and an open heart. I can't explain it, but I started to get tears in my eyes as she told me about her life. So much darkness she had been through and yet it left her unphased, telling the story with no tone change in her voice. Not even did she shed a tear and over here I was crying like a baby.
Because she was me. I was her. And my heart ached for someone who had not an ounce of hope left and felt like there was no reason to go on. I told her about my life, about everything that has happened to me since I left for college. And you know what she said to me? She whispered, "I want your life." And I told her, you can have this and more. Don't give up, keep fighting, and get help. I did it and I know you can do it, too.
I hope that one of my words touched this girl. Made her think twice and made her realize that there is nothing wrong with her. It's society who is wrong for making her feel crazy. Her mental illnesses do not define her. They only make up a part of who she is.
With much love, Lauren.