SomeoneLikeYou Monday, March 14, 2016
As of today, I have two months until I graduate.
It's quite an odd feeling to come to such a cross roads in your life. It was only four years ago I graduated from high school and wrote this post.
I had so much to learn as an eighteen-year-old, but I remember being so excited and eager to begin the next step of my life at Kent State. Now having just a blip of time before I graduate, I feel those same sentiments going forward. I am hoping for amazing and better things for my future. Kent has been a wonderful period of my life, but like all stages in life we grow out of them. I'm ready to embark on being a young adult on my own in the world, finding my way a midst the trials and triumphs.
This graduation is a lot more daunting than my first. Instead of having a set plan for the next four years, I now have no prediction of what my future will hold, even the week after graduation. I think I like this unknown anticipation better. I tend to worry myself sick when I'm waiting for something. I feel the need to prepare something, even if there's nothing I can do. Since I have no idea where I'll be or what I'll be doing in two months, it's wonderful in a way. I am eager to see what happens in the next stage of my life. It's like a novel I can't wait to finish, with that big twist that always comes at the end.
The thing that makes me sad about my graduation though is leaving my home and family. It was a significant worry for me at my high school graduation, as well, and it's a fear that's never really left me. I know I will not be staying in Ohio and often times I look around me, what I have considered home for all my life, and I am over taken by sadness. Ohio isn't going anywhere, but it's me that's going places. Even if the things I wanted in life were here in Ohio, I still don't know if I would choose to stay. I have a such a sense of adventure and freedom at this point in my life. Before I studied abroad in Italy and even for quite awhile after, I was tired of new experiences. I wanted to lay low for awhile contently in my safe zone. However, since I lived in New York City I have had an unquenchable palette for going well beyond my limits to see what I can do.
Life is so incredibly strange. The more I go through it, the more I realize this. I'm glad I've had this blog to help me figure it all out. It's been a comfort to be able to write these jumbled thoughts here for six years, and surprisingly find an incredible number of people who feel the same things I feel. Four years from now when I look back on this post like I looked back on my high school graduation post, I hope to smile at my naivety and shake my head at my youthful, stubborn eagerness. I have a lot to learn, but I'm always willing to try.
With much love, Lauren.
Ohio Vibes Shirt: c/o Ohio Explored.
Velvet Skirt: Thrifted.
Black Flats: Thrifted.
Red Plaid Button Down: H&M.
Heart Tights: c/o OASAP (old).
Ohio Explored Bracelet: c/o Ohio Explored.