SomeoneLikeYou Wednesday, April 20, 2016
"A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms."
I've been in a really difficult season of my life lately comparing myself to others. As graduation is approaches, many of my classmates have had exciting job opportunities for their post-grad life offered to them. It's hard not to compare and get down on yourself. I've been putting in applications since January, revising my resume and cover letter, working part time to save money to move, and trying to make sure my senior project is perfect so I get picked to show case in New York. You see yourself doing all these things and know how much effort you're putting in, and when nothing comes of your labor...it's easy to get down.
These people deserve the things they've achieved and I'm happy for my classmates. There's no reason to not celebrate in their joy just because I'm not where they are yet. Still, I just can't help but feel like a failure in the process because I've had 0 interviews and nearly 0 responses to my applications put out. I've gone to bed every single night for the last 8 months thinking about New York and how I'm going to get there. The thoughts often keep me up. They race around and around as I work myself into a panic of realizing that I have no job with graduation less than a month away. Other times the thoughts are calming. I think of my dreams and what I want out of life and imagine what it will finally feel like to be in New York City again.
A lot of times I wonder what I'm doing wrong for everyone else to be achieving success around me while I stay stagnant. Am I not trying hard enough? Is my cover letter not great? Do I need more experience? Have I put enough applications in? I've contemplated all these answers to as why I may not be succeeding in the things I want and trust me, I've attempted to fix them all. You know what I've found though?
I'm not doing any of those things wrong.
The things am doing wrong? Doubting myself. Comparing myself. Belittling myself at not being good enough or smart enough or accomplished enough. Things as large as a post-grad career take time and commitment to make happen. It didn't happen over night for any of my classmates and it won't happen overnight for me.
When you've been working months tirelessly trying to make your dreams come true with little leeway, it's important to take a step back and realize what you do have.
I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Fashion Merchandising.
I have a plan of where I want to live.
I have a passion, hunger, and drive for getting where I want.
With these things I will succeed. It may not be on the same time table as everyone else, but it'll be in my own moment right for me.
Flowers don't compete to be the best and brightest bloom. They just grow and become what they were destined to be.
So should you. So should I.
With much love,
White Blouse (very similar): Thifted.
Vintage '70s Scarf (similar to mine & I have a floral one, too!): Thrifted.
Black Denim Button Front Skirt (very similar): Thrifted.
Black Strap Flats (very similar): Thrifted.
Patent Envelope Clutch (similar): Thrifted.