a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Life Updates


I found myself disappearing again (thankfully not for two years this time), but this little blog remained on my mind. When I last wrote in June, I was getting ready to embark on my solo trip to Ireland, and was still searching for a job after leaving my position in the beauty industry. It's hard to believe this was only a few months ago because so much has happened in-between, but that's just how life works. The day-to-day seems to go by so slow, but when you look back on time it goes unbelievably fast. I am grateful that I'm no longer unemployed because it was a highly emotional, tumultuous time where I often felt like I had made the wrong decision to leave.

Looking from the other side now, thankfully things happened to work out, but it wasn't anything to do with happenstance. I had to put my fears on the back burner and buckle down to do what I had to - find that job. When you're in a position of compromised comfort, it allows you to truly cut all the bullshit because you simply have no other choice. I was running out of money for rent. My trip abroad was coming closer and I was worried I may not have enough money to still go. And I think the biggest push for me was the unsurmountable mountain of shame and guilt I felt, but that I also felt I had brought on to my parents.

It's now been nearly three months since I started my new position. As difficult as everything was, every decision proved necessary as a stepping stone for the life I want to build for myself and the career I want to grow into. Surprisingly, I wouldn't have done things any different if given the chance, but I definitely don't want to do them again in the future. But, you just never know where life will take you. 

Since starting my new social job at Gap, immersing myself every day in fashion has reinvigorated the love for what this blog developed nearly 9 years ago. As I've taken my time adjusting to the new job, I've still been creating a lot of content over on Instagram, but I have really missed long form writing and photo sharing. Trends in social networks fade in and out (RIP Vine), but for me at least, blogging is an irreplaceable platform that will never go out of style.
It's been a comfort over the years to always find this space waiting for me right where I left off, just like an old friend welcoming me back. It always feels right. It always feels good. It always feel like a part of me is whole again. Excited to share as inspiration or contemplation comes (and inevitably goes). Hoping to also really focus on the quality of posts rather than quantity - something I've been pondering on a lot lately.

Other than my new job, I also travelled to Ireland for 11 days (more on that to come!), visited Ohio a few times to see family, started an Etsy shop, signed on for another year at my Brooklyn apartment, an booked a weekend trip to stay in the mountains upstate with my boyfriend for October. Life has been good!

How have you all been? Leave me a note down below to what you've been up to the past few months! I would love to hear.

With much love,

Lauren

Outfit Details:
blazer thrifted | jeans aeropostale | blouse forever21 | purse thrifted | heels thredup

SHOP SIMILAR BLAZERS

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Sunday, June 17, 2018

Secondhand First


Secondhand clothing has always been the glue that holds my personal style together. Since I was 16 years old, I've looked to thrift stores, church rummage sales, estate sales, auctions, and consignment stores to drive the inspiration behind why I dress the way I do. Shopping secondhand has never been something I was ashamed or embarrassed by, and I personally couldn't ever understand why others viewed it that way. I wear clothes that someone else already wore? Cool! That gives my wardrobe a rich story, my style a unique twist, my community a voice, and my earth a second chance. Ain't nothing shameful about any of that.

Throughout the years, this blog has always been one part a way for me to document my personal style evolution, but also (I hope!) a platform that helps redefine misconceptions about shopping secondhand. Since recently focusing on my Instagram and blog more, I really wanted the things I cared about and am passionate for to be the center of what  I shared. I've been starting to post more try ons at the thrift store, styling hauls, completely thrifted OOTDs, and hope to soon share other accounts in the thrift community that inspire me! Through focusing more on this type of content, the response from you guys has been so unexpectedly wild. I've received so many messages from followers who were inspired by my tips, and went out to thrift for the very first time! I've also had people tell me I completely changed the way they thought about second clothing, and they're now obsessed. Nothing make me happier or feel more fulfilled that helping others discover the magic of secondhand shopping!

Something I'm really excited to dip my toes into and share my first time experience with you guys is online secondhand shopping! In-store has always been what I'm most comfortable with and I don't shop online at all, so this concept has really intrigued me for awhile now. The kind people at ThreadUP recently reached out to see if I wanted to select some pieces to try on and style. I made a challenge for myself to create a full look with the $30 credit they gifted me, and this is what I came up with!

Just like thrifting, you have to start with an idea of what you're looking for because ThreadUP receives over 15,000 new listings A DAY. No wonder they're known as the largest online thrift store! I knew I wanted an easy dress I could throw on for the hot days ahead, so I selected this paisley midi for only $13.99. Hats are also a huge style staple for me to spice up a minimal outfit, so I chose this grey felt rimmed hat for $12.99. To finish off the look, I cinched my waist with a grey woven belt for only $1.99, and I came in just under $30.

The whole process was super seamless and I would actually be really interested in investing in some name brand pieces for less next time I shop with ThreadUP. I really enjoyed how you could narrow down by brand, and they had some of my favorites like Madewell, Dooney and Bourke, and Coach for less. If you would like to try ThreadUP yourself, visit through here and receive $10 off your first order!

I wanted to share my experience with you guys because I really loved the idea of a more tailored online secondhand experience for those of you who get overwhelmed with traditional thrifting. What are your thoughts? Do you enjoy traditional secondhand shopping or the online option? I'd love to hear!

With much love, Lauren

Outfit details: 
dress c/o of ThreadUP | hat c/o ThreadUP | belt c/o ThreadUP | coach purse thrifted | sandals forever21 | necklace thrifted 

*Disclaimer - I was not paid in partnership with ThreadUP, but they did kindly gift me store credit for these pieces. All thought and opinions (as always) are my own!*
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Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Maturing My Personal Style



For those of you who have followed me throughout the years, you know my style has changed a lot overtime. From authentic vintage outfits in high school, to more twee-style dressing in college, it took me awhile to find what exactly my personal style was when I moved to New York. Vintage will always be a part of my style no matter what age I am or where I'm living. Although I enjoy traditional shopping in ready-to-wear stores, nothing gets my heart beating quite like a trip to the thrift store. 

In the last two years, I've really wanted to start developing a more mature and refined style for myself that is still reflective of my love for vintage, but definitely does have nods to modern style. Living in NYC can be incredibly inspiring to see the world's best fashion right there on the street in front of you, styled by everyday women. It can also be incredibly disheartening because I don't have unlimited budget, and a lot of these fashion-forward pieces may not flatter my best assets. What's a good middle for being inspired, but not letting the inspiration make you feel bad about yourself?

I would say the perfect medium looks something like this outfit here! This is a very NYC inspired outfit -- neutral colors, simple shapes, and the ability to look effortless (even when you put in a hell of a lot of effort). All the items in this look aside from my shoes are thrifted, but still have an elevated polished look to them. This dress in particular has been a piece I've reached for over and over throughout the years since thrifting it. I've worn it styled classic here, with a little bit of a cool edge here, and retro inspired here The look I'm wearing in these photos may just be my favorite yet...


With an oversized boyfriend blazer, this look could easily be worn to the office in the morning, then paired down with no jacket in the evening for a dinner date. I'm finally at the point in my life where I understand the need for versatile, multi-use dressing. All those magazine articles I read growing up must have stuck!

Hope you all are having a great week so far. If you aren't already, come follow along with my week on Instagram. It's been a busy one so far with three interviews and another one to go tomorrow!

With much love, Lauren
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Sunday, June 3, 2018

New York City Eats- Taiyaki, Smorgasburg, & Van Leeuwen!


Taiyaki NYC
Happy Sunday all!


I hope it's been a lovely weekend so far for you. Mine has been quite...filling to say the least! New York City has endless options of foods & sweet treats, and I seemed to have taken advantage of all of them at once this weekend. Friday I celebrated my 2 year anniversary living in New York City with one of my absolute favorite treats -- Taiyaki! A Taiyaki is a Japanese dessert that features a fish-shaped waffle with ice cream piled inside. The NYC location has delicious flavors like matcha and black seasame, or traditional American flavors like vanilla and chocolate. Taiyaki is a must visit if you're coming to the city!
On Saturday I went to Smorgasburg, which is a food festival hosted in Brooklyn every weekend during the summer (Williamsburg on Saturday & Prospect Park on Sunday). There's over 100 vendors carrying all sorts of food varieties -- there's too many to list, so see them all here! Smorgasburg is another place I highly recommend if you're visiting the city. It's a great way to try many of the top eateries in NYC all in one place. Plus, there's a simply stunning view of Manhattan to enjoy while you eat! Yesterday I got jerk chicken dumplings with a pineapple sauce, then topped it off by splitting mozzarella sticks with my roommate. Still can't get over the seasoning on those!

Smorgasburg
smorgasburg
Finally, I tried the infamous Van Leeuwen ice cream in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Van Leeuwen is a cult-favorite here in NYC, known for using fresh ingredients and having a robust selection of vegan ice cream. Locations can be found throughout Brooklyn & Manhattan, but all the ice cream is made in Greenpoint! I tried a single scoop of the peanut butter and marshmallow crunch and man oh man... it may have been the best ice cream I've ever had. 

van leeuwen ice cream in greenpoint

vintage macrame bag

vintage macrame bag

vintage macrame bag
Today, I'm definitely taking a break today from all the heavy eating and hoping to simply relax & get some work done! I'm excited to share these outfit photos with you all that I took last week, featuring this beautiful vintage handbag. I found this vintage macramé bag during my last visit to Ohio for $2 at my favorite store, Volunteers of America. This bag features stunning handwoven macramé and a really unique wooden handle. I actually set the bag down too hard a few week back and snapped the handle in half -- I was devastated! Luckily, a little bit of wood glue did the trick & the bag was back in business. I've been finding a ton of lovely vintage handbags recently in my thrift adventures -- looking forward to sharing them with you all soon!

With much love, Lauren 

outfit details:
dress thrifted (similar)| bag thrifted (similar from UO- comes in black) | headscarf thrifted (similar) | heels old navy - also comes in black!
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Thursday, May 31, 2018

Planning My 11-Day Solo Trip to Ireland!



If you follow me on Instagram, you know awhile back I announced that I will be going on my dream solo drip to Ireland next month! I visited Ireland when I was studying abroad in Italy in 2015 for a quick weekend trip that has left me dreaming of a return for three years now. It was the place in Europe I really connected with, and it instantly gave me the feeling of being at home. This is something I similarly experienced when visiting NYC for the first time, so you never know what may happen in the future!

My last trip to Ireland was so brief that I only really got to see Dublin for a day, and then parts of Galway and the Cliffs of Moher in another jam packed day. I knew that if I were to ever return to Ireland, I wanted to really see not just the main cities, but also the rolling landscapes and beautiful countryside that the country is known for.

It took me over a year of saving and a lot of guts, but I booked the flight for June 28th and will be in Ireland 11 days until July 8th. This trip means a lot to me because it's something I saved and dreamed about, but it's also a time for me to discover things about myself in this transition period I'm going through. I'm not a naturally adventurous person, so to book this solo trip for a week and a half was a real leap of faith for me. I'm nervous, but also so incredibly excited! Let's get into my itinerary. 





Days 1-3 | Dublin
I budgeted $2,000 for this entire trip, but do have wiggle room should any issues arise. Most of this is going towards plane travel, although I was able to get a fairly good deal on my flight at $750 round-trip since I'll be departing from a major airport (JFK) and straight into Dublin. 


I booked myself Airbnbs for all of my housing while in Ireland. It's a wonderful way to keep costs low, but also enjoy a true Irish experience by staying with a local! I'll be spending two nights in Dublin to really explore and just sort of relax before the true travel portion of my visit starts. I'm looking forward to exploring by foot, & don't have any specific sights to see since I've been to Dublin before. I am planning though to go on this Dublin Fashion tour which highlights the best vintage and consignment shops in the area. 


Day 4 | Cork
This is where the real adventure starts! I'll be driving for 5 days in Ireland so I can see everything on my own terms. Even when I was studying abroad, I would often forgo tours because I didn't feel I got to experience the country in an authentic way. To say I'm nervous to drive in Ireland is an understatement because they drive on the opposite side of the road! I'm hoping to get use to the driving after a day or so, and plan to just take my time. As a note: even in Ireland the age to rent a car is 25. I'm 24, and I am finding it difficult to locate dealers who will rent to me. It is possible, but I'll have to incur an extra charge for being underage. An international drivers license is not required for Americans, but you have to have held your American license for at least 2 years.


I'll be vising the Rock of Cashel on my way to Cork and then stopping in their downtown area for lunch and to stay the night. I also booked my housing on Airbnb for this night, and I'm very excited because it's actually a local bed and breakfast. 




Day 5 | Kinsale & Killarney
I'm planning to wake up bright and early to visit the lovely town of Kinsale, which I hear is super lovely and quaint. From there, I'll be driving through Killarney for lunch, and hoping to reach the Lakes of Killarney by early evening. From my research, this area and the Gap of Dunlough looks so phenomenal. My trip for the first few days is flexible, so if there's a lot to see I can always continue exploring this area through day 6. 




Day 6-7 | Ring of Kerry
I reserved two full days to drive along the Ring of Kerry, which is arguably Ireland's most scenic drive on the west coast of the country. I don't have any housing set up for these two days because I want to just drive and stop as I please, really taking my time to discover off-beat paths of the Irish Wild Atlantic Coast


Day 8 | Shannon 
This day is mostly a travel day to get from the Ring of Kerry to the Shannon airport. Because I've already seen The Cliffs of Moher and Galway, I wanted to really dedicate the time to exploring other areas of Ireland that I hadn't seen yet. So, I'm flying out of Shannon to Belfast, Northern Ireland this day! My flight is super quick and was booked cheaply on kiwi.com. Ryan Air and Aer Lingus are also great airline options for cheap flights within Ireland. I'll be arriving in Belfast in the early evening, and staying in an AirBnb through the next two nights.



Day 9 | Giants Causeway
One of the must-have sites for me when planning my trip to Ireland was to go to Giant's Causeway. This natural phenomenon is a world heritage site of interlocking basalt columns that were caused by a volcanic eruption. Since I will no longer have my car to drive, this will be the only tour I book to take a bus up to the site and spend the day. This may be the biggest sight on my list I can't wait to see!

Day 10 | Belfast
As my trip comes to an end, this is somewhat of another travel day before my departure back to the states. I'll be spending the morning in Belfast, then catching a Eurorail train in the afternoon back to Dublin where I'll spend the night in a different AirBnb. Since my train isn't until 2PM, I'm really hoping to get to explore a little bit of the Belfast City on foot! Please leave any recommendations you have. 


Day 11 | Dublin/Depart for home
I have an early flight out of Dublin directly back to JFK around 9AM in the morning so I can be back in the states Sunday afternoon. I was really lucky to get a flight through Finnair that is direct, so my time in air should only be around 7 or so hours. Not bad! 


There you have it! My 11-day solo trip to Ireland. I still have a lot of planning left to do, but the base work is definitely all there. I'm at around $1650 through my budget with all travel expenses and housing booked, so that leaves around $350 for food, tours, and additional expenses.


Please do leave any recommendations below for places to see along my route! I would love to hear them. Hoping to update you all again before my trip with what I'm packing, and will be documenting my journey on Instagram if you care to follow along.


With much love, Lauren

outfit details:
lipstick MAC Lady Danger | blouse thrifted (similar) | skirt thrifted (similar) | bag thrifted (similar) | sunglasses thrifted (similar) | heels old navy (similar

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Sunday, May 27, 2018

Lingerie As Outwear | Styling a Lace Bustier





Hi everyone!

One of my favorite styling tricks I've done over the years is mixing in lingerie as outwear into my everyday looks. I started doing this trick in college after there was no stuffy dress code to abide by, and still do it today! When I was home visiting Ohio in March, I found the perfect vintage  lace bustier that fit me like a glove at my local thrift store. I'm always coming across really beautiful bustiers and lingerie tops in the sleepwear section of the thrift store, but because I'm a size A cup with a little bit of a tummy, it can be difficult to find a perfect fit. Luckily I found this one that fit and it was only was only $.99! I know a lot of people are against thrifting lingerie/swimwear, but I think it can truly be one of the most underrated sections of a thrift store. Even seasoned thrifters don't think to check this area, so you can often find really nice quality and true vintage pieces.


Since the panels and upper cups of this bustier are sheer, I wanted to feel a little more covered for the farmers market run I went on this day. I threw on my trusty denim jacket (also thrifted), to add a bit of modesty, but if I was going out later that night it would be easy to switch up my look.

I posted on Instagram a slide show of some other ways I've styled up various pieces of lingerie as outwear. Two of my go-tos: silk camis on their own or layered with blouses, and nightgowns over jeans! Below I listed some of my favorite bustiers as well because I know it may be annoying that you can rarely purchase the pieces I wear since they're all thrifted lol. Hope this is helpful, & thank you guys for reading along. I've got some exciting posts planned, so watch out for those soon. x

With much love, Lauren

Favorite Bustiers:
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Friday, May 25, 2018

5 Tips for Plant Beginners!

5 Tips for Plant Beginngers!

Something I've truly developed a passion for since moving to Brooklyn two years ago is PLANTS! Living in the city, there's a serious lack of greenery sometimes, which is a far departure from what I grew up with in Ohio. Plants are incredible because not only are they beautiful, but they also offer many other benefits like air purification, protection from pests, and add an undeniable energy to your home. 

I've learned a lot about what works and doesn't work as a new plant owner, and wanted to share my 5 tips for plant beginners and some of my favorite species with you all! I'm still learning as I go, so make sure to leave your recommendations down below in the comments. 

1) Select a plant based on your environment; not on how it looks
This is the hardest to follow (but most important!) tip I have. There are so many beautiful plants out there I love, and I've brought them home only to have them die a few weeks later because they weren't compatible with my living space. Every plant is different, and it's important before you select your first one to evaluate your home to see what sort of environment you have for a plant to thrive in. Gather information on the sort of light your home receives (direct, indirect, or shadow), the humidity (high, low, medium), the air, and the temperature. Speak with the plant shop owner when you're making a decision and share with them this information to help you make the best selection and give your plant the best shot to grow!

5 Tips for Plant Beginngers!
Plant suggestion: Snake Plant | sansevieria trifasciata
Known for it's architectural, vibrantly colored leaves, the Snake Plant was one of my first plants & I've had mine over 2 years! These can be grown in any light conditions (even no natural light), and need very little watering (as the soil dries out or every 10-14 days). Wipe leaves with damp cloth periodically.

2) Evaluate the plant's health
Sadly, not all plants for sale are in good health. Some come from farmers or growers that don't take the proper precautions to protect again pests, fungi, or just promote general plant health. Things to avoid when selecting a plant:
  • wilted looking, sagging plant leaves
  • small spots on the top or underside of the leaves
  • brown, yellow, or discolored leaves
  • shriveling or wrinkling (especially for cacti & succulents)
5 Tips for Plant Beginngers!
Plant suggestion: Pothos | epipremnum aureum
A stunning plant that can be trained to grow upward, or down with long trailing vines. Pothos can be grown in low light and only needs watering 1x a week. Grows SUPER fast so it feels so rewarding to watch your hard work pay off! 


3) Hold off on repotting immediately after purchase
I know it's exciting to bring home your new plant baby and you want to give it the perfect new pot to call home, but don't  repot straight away. A plant will already need time to adjust to the new environment you're placing it into, and nothing is more distressing than removing it from its already cozy home. To ensure the best possible plant survival, wait 1-2 months after purchasing your plant before repotting. If you want to hide the plastic pot new plants often come in, simply set it inside a slightly larger ceramic pot for the meantime. The only time it's really recommended to repot immediately is if the roots are sticking out from the bottom or starting to pop out of the soil. This means the plant is outgrowing its home, and it's time for it to move to a larger space. When choosing a new pot for your plant, size up 2-3 inches to ensure it has enough room to grow!

5 Tips for Plant Beginngers!
Plant suggestion: Rubber Plant | ficus elastic
The shiny, almost 'rubber like' leaves of this stunner are beautiful no matter where you place it in your home. This plant is very low maintance and can grow in low-medium light conditions, with waterings every 10-14 days. In between waterings, make sure to clean leaves with a soft towel and water to allow leaves to breathe.

4) Drainage, drainage, drainage!
For quite awhile after I first started purchasing plants, I couldn't figure out for the life of me why they kept dying. I was watering the appropriate amount, giving them enough sun light...what gives? After some internet searching, I found it was because none of my pots had drainage holes at the bottom. Having nowhere for the water to drain can cause the water to sit at the bottom of pot, which causes root rot of the plant. Always either purchase pots with a drain hole, or lay down 1-2 inches of volcanic rock at the bottom of the pot so the roots aren't sitting in stagnant water. 

5 Tips for Plant Beginngers!
Plant suggestion: Aloe | Aloe Vera
A type of succulent and can also be grown in a variety of environments. Aloe plants store water in their leaves, so water very infrequently and only a little bit at a time. Make sure to put rocks in the bottom, and for even better evaporation properties, put some on top of the soil, as well. Bonus: Aloe are great air purifiers! 


5) Cliché but true; give them love
I risk sounding like an absolute crazy person here, but the truth is the truth -- plants feed off your energy. They feel and take in the stresses of the environment, and definitely are reactive when you're not taking care of them properly. I live in one of the most stressful environments in the world -- NYC! There's a lot of honking, yelling, and noise at all times of the day, but that's not necessarily what effects the plant. It's about taking the time to truly care for and love each new one you take under your wing. Watch and appreciate the little changes they go through on a daily basis; mist  them if leaves are dropping before watering; move to a shadier spot if you notice the leaves are burning. Show kindness to your plant and it will reward you by growing!

5 Tips for Plant Beginngers!
Plant suggestion: Swiss Cheese Plant | monstera deliciosa 
Perhaps my favorite plant I own and adds a wonderful tropical vibe to any home! These plants love love and when given the space, time, and environment to shine, they certainly will. Since this is a tropical plant, place somewhere that receives a lot of natural, indirect light. Water once soil becomes dry, and give regular mistings.

Hope you all enjoyed this little plant guide for beginners. x

With much love, 

Lauren
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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

A Warm Welcome

Parisian Inspired Outfit | Someone Like You
You all sure know how to welcome a girl back -- thank you! I wasn't expecting many people to have stuck around after my hiatus, but I'm certainly glad you did. My favorite part about blogging has always been the community here and how supportive, kind, and wise every single one of you are. Wish I could give each of you a huge real-life hug, but for now a virtual one will just have to do. If you do find yourself in NYC though, you know what's waiting for you!


Parisian Inspired Outfit | Someone Like You
Parisian Inspired Outfit | Someone Like You
Over the last few days since my latest post I've slowly been making changes to out of date sections of this blog. One labyrinth of webpages even brought me to an old about section where I still had I was a teenager, ha. Mostly, I want to modernize this site to be more user & community friendly so it's easier to communicate with you all! It was a long time coming, but I finally updated my comment widget to Discus so now I can reply back to you guys & you can choose to receive emails about any follow up responses. I hope this is helpful! Feel free to leave any other suggestions to below.


Parisian Inspired Outfit | Someone Like You

Parisian Inspired Outfit | Someone Like You
I also truly considered about whether I want this blog to remain Someone Like You. I was only 16 when I created it, and obviously so much has changed since then. My original inspiration behind the name was from my favorite book by Sarah Dessen, but now years later the blog name seems slightly ill-fitting for the woman I am today. If I were to change my name, it would definitely be to Passing Whimsies, which is what I'm known on other places of the internet. I feel like this pseudonym is more 'me,' but I am still unsure if I could ever truly depart from Someone Like You. I plan to keep it for now and if it still feels out of place in the future, perhaps I'll look into re-branding.

Parisian Inspired Outfit | Someone Like You

Parisian Inspired Outfit | Someone Like You Finally, I'm really excited to start sharing some more in-depth content that will be helpful for YOU guys! In the past, a large portion of my blog has simply been sharing my OOTDs & writing my thoughts along with them. Although this is my favorite type of post to do & something I want to continue, I'm looking to branch out and push myself to do more topical posts that I find myself interested in. Aside from fashion, I love thrifting, interior decorating, plants, coffee shops, Brooklyn, and so many other things. I want to really highlight what I know of these things, and learn more about them from you guys in the process too! So if you've made it this far down the post (pretty impressive!), please do share any posts you'd be interested in seeing from me. I have some ideas, but I am always open to hearing more!

Can't explain how wonderful it feels to sit down this evening and type to you guys like this again. What a warm welcome home.

With much love,

Lauren 

outfit details: dress vintage bcbg | woven basket purse thrifted | chiffon scarf thrifted | tan beret American Apparel | tan sandals F21



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Sunday, May 20, 2018

I'm Still Here



Hey, remember me? I'm still here. Much the same as when I last wrote to you in November of 2016. Some things have changed, of course, but it feels almost like no time has passed at all.

I stopped blogging never because I wanted to, but because I had so much going on in my life at the time. When I last left you, I was starting a new job here in New York City as a social media coordinator for an incredible company. I felt like my life was finally coming together, and everything I had worked so hard for in school for four years and during those first 6 months after moving to the city had finally paid off. All I'd ever wanted was to make doing what I loved (social media) my full-time job -- it finally was. 

Over this last year and a half, I've grown so much personally and professionally, and it makes me sad that all of those small changes weren't documented on this blog. I learned how to be tough, even when I'm inherently not; how to stand up for myself, even when I feel weak; how to push myself to the limit; even when I didn't know I could go that far. 


Coming back to blogging has been on my mind for awhile now. I've continued to still take outfit photos and post them over on Instagram, but I still missed having a space where I could really open up. A part of me has been scared to get back to blogging because I feel so out of touch with this world. I'm no longer 16 and can write with angst about my life struggles. I'm nearly 25 now, and I want this space to evolve with me as I mature. I'm just not sure how. 

I decided to come back though, despite not knowing the right way to go about all of this, because of a huge life change. I've always depended on my intuition to lead me through the choices in my life. I know that may sound silly to some of you who are logical thinkers, but I just can't shake the feeling of knowing deep down what's right. I've felt it at the big turning points in my life -- when I decided I wanted to go to school at Kent State; when I decided to take an internship in New York City; when I decided to move to New York City. Something in my gut for all of these huge life changes told me "Go, you must go for this. It's who you are and what you want and you'll regret it if you don't." I can't put my finger on the feeling, and it's not something I feel for every decision I need to make. 


I've felt this pull at my intuition for a few months now, and I tried pushing it away and thinking logically because well, I'm an adult now. Adults don't just make rash, risky decisions. I spoke with family and friends trying to get their opinions, hoping some down to earth advice would pull me back off the edge. Their words would placate my wandering mind for a little bit, but I just kept coming back to these thoughts and these wishes for myself. If not now, when?

Something to know about me is that I often feel deep regret with my life. I'm constantly wishing I had done things different in my past that may have been uncomfortable at the time, but maybe now would have been worth it. Change is so terrifying to me, that I'll do everything to avoid it. Even calculated risks are often paralyzing to me. I knew though I didn't want to feel the familiar regret about not making the choice to pursue this side of myself. 



Around 3 weeks ago, I made the decision to leave my full-time job. It's still shocking to me, and my last day was this past Friday. Tomorrow will be my first official day un-employed. I loved my job in social media and the company I worked for, but something still felt missing. I started to find myself wishing for the weekends because I knew I would be able to take outfit photos, read fashion magazines, and go thrifting for new treasures. As much as I tried to be reasonable with myself to continue with my job, I knew there were other things out there to fulfill my love for fashion in a way this position couldn't at this point in my life. I didn't move from my small town life in Ohio to New York City to settle. I want go for my wildest dreams whether that's doing social for a fashion brand, selling vintage part time, getting back blogging -- I don't know what it will be yet.



I have so many conflicting feelings about still doing what is right (you need a job right now to survive, take anything!), and doing what I actually want to do (take your time, figure it out & wait for the right thing to come). I made sure to save up money so I could be financially stable enough to take the time to explore my options, but I still wake up every day though with fear in my heart about what's to come. I'm either really brave or really stupid -- not sure which yet. 

The only thing I do know is I want to do something that gives me purpose & makes me feel fulfilled. 


With much love,

Lauren

outfit details: top thrifted | skirt zara | shoes thrifted | beret thrifted

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