I'm 23 and Don't Drink: and That's Okay.

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I don't drink


I'm nearly 23 years old and I don't drink alcohol.

I can.

I just choose not to.

I understand why people struggle to comprehend why I don't drink. Most people my age do. Most people even a lot younger than me do. There seems like no reason why you wouldn't. I can accept that confusion, but I can't accept the shaming.

It's my choice. Not yours. And you shouldn't make me feel ashamed of it. Or embarrassed. Or outcast. Or weird. I have no problem with people who drink. I don't hate them, look down upon them, want to change them. I'm just me and just because I don't drink nothing changes that. When invasive questions on why I don't drink are asked, it's uncomfortable. That I don't should just be enough.

"You don't drink? Okay, that's fine. We'll get you a Coke instead." And we can move on like it's no big deal. Because it isn't.

But people poke and prod and make me feel like this anomaly. "You couldn't possibly not drink, can you? Why on earth would you want to do that?"

Because I have OCD. Because I've struggled for over a decade with crippling anxiety that's left me in therapy multiple times and medication and countless panic attacks. Drinking triggers my OCD. So I don't do it.

I shouldn't have to tell people all that. To make my very personal struggles the first thing people know about me when they meet me. I should just be able to say I don't drink, and leave it at that.

Maybe what's worse than having them not just accept my choice is trying to change my choice.

"oh, well ___ doesn't get you drunk quickly"
"just drink a lot of water before hand and eat. You'll be fine."
"I've never thrown up, so you should be good."

People think that in .25 seconds they can offer me a solution that will fix all my problems. That will make me normal. Like them.

They don't realize that I've lived with this for 10 years? That I've thought of every possible solution and resolution to fix this "flaw" in myself that makes me an outcast to people my own age (and above) (and below)?

It's just a let down.

I can never shake the feeling after it happens. The shame haunts me through the rest of the evening, into the night, and when I lay cocooned in my sheets in the morning. Thinking about having people drawn to me like a spectacle, trying to fix me like a broken toy.

"Hey guys, get over here! You'll never guess what I just found out. Lauren doesn't drink! Can you believe that? Let's help her, let's figure it out. Let's get her to finally have some fun"

I just want people to accept that I don't drink and treat me like every one else. Also to respect my decision enough to trust that I know what's best for my mental health. And just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't want to go out with you. I can still be out, have a fun time, and not drink. I don't want to be treated like an outsider. Like a charity case. Like a nut job. I just want to be treated as Lauren, who doesn't drink, but that's okay: she'll just take a water instead. x

ps. this cosmo article is actually really great on the subject and worth a read.

Achieving Clean and Clear Skin with Colleen Rothschild.

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colleen rothschild review
colleen rothschild radiant cleansing balm
colleen rothschild sheer renewal cream
colleen rothschild skincare
clean face after wash
colleen rothschild legit

Hi guys!

For about a month now I've been testing out some skincare products from Colleen Rothschild to see how they would perform. I've had somewhat problematic skin for most my life. It's never been absolutely clear, so I'm always looking for products to add to my routine that will actually work and improve my skin. The big problems with my skin are:

-acne scars
-dryness
-enlarged pores


All minor things in the big scheme of it all, but you only have one face. It's important to take care of it! I was excited when Colleen Rothschild Beauty  reached out for me to review some products. I'm usually a bit skeptical about skin product reviews because it takes awhile to see results and come to a real consensus on the product. Most companies don't have time for this process, and thus rush posting and reviewing. Colleen Rothschild gave me as much time as I needed to truly test the products and have my skin get used to them. I was sent two products: the Sheer Renewal Cream and the Radiant Cleansing Balm (their best seller; and for a good reason!). Although I liked both products, I was especially impressed with the Radiant Cleansing Balm and will mostly focus on that.

The Radiant Cleansing Balm is formulated to act as a high powered makeup remover and skin cleanser. I've been using makeup wipes to take my makeup off and although I use sensitive ones for the eyes, I always find they still burn a bit after makeup removal. Not only that, but I still wake up in the morning with mascara under my lower lash line no matter how hard I scrubbed the previous night! I was blown away with this stuff as a makeup remover.

Application is simple. Take the gel like substance and massage it over your dry face. Run the muslin cloth provided under warm water and place over your face to draw out all the impurities and makeup deep down in your pores. Then, you simply just wipe the balm off your face with the cloth and I swear...one wipe and it was all gone. My cat eye, red lipstick, and extra strength concealer. The balm has a gentle, soothing scent to it that I love right before bed time. It is the best feeling in the world to go to bed with completely fresh feeling skin!

Although the cleansing balm was my favorite, I still did really enjoy using the sheer renewal cream, as well. I found it to be moisturizing on my dry face without getting greasy--even in this crazy NYC heat. The renewal cream also acts as a defense against environmental elements which I really appreciate since that's not something you'll find in most  drug store moisturizers. With all of the smoke, dirt, and junk floating around in the NYC air, it has comforted me to know that I've got protection.
If you all would like to try something from Colleen Rothschild (I want to try out the Complete Eye Cream next for my dark circles!) you can use the code 'LIKE20' for the next week and get 20% off regular price items ♥

Leave any skin care products down below that you all are loving right now--- I'd love to check them out. x

With much love,

Lauren


Vintage Celine

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buy vintage celine















Hello everyone!

I've photos I took in this gorgeous vintage Celine Paris shirt I thrifted a few weeks ago sitting on my camera card...Last night the card broke off into the SD slot in my computer though and all my photos were lost :( A bummer! I did have the two photos above I'd emailed to myself for Instagram, so I'm glad that something was still left to post. I am OBSESSED with this Celine shirt. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the tag. It's probably the most high end brand I've ever thrifted before. For $5 I couldn't pass it by because I originally planned on selling it to a vintage shop in Brooklyn. I tried it on though back home and realized it was impeccably made, and I did really like the style of it. So, it's for keeps!

The weekends here in NYC are so lovely. Usually during the work week it's go, go, go: so, I don't have much time to relax and appreciate my surroundings. During the weekends I get to breathe a little and I realize how much I do love living in this place. Well, I always love living here, but I realize it in particular on the weekends. I feel like home. I've settled into life here and it's comforting to have consistencies again that I've created for myself. The coffee shops I frequent, the regulars I see on the train, the routes I taken to work or the grocery store...every aspect of my daily life has come together to paint a picture of living I dreamed of for so long. Things aren't perfect, but I love the life I live here and ultimately am happy with my decision. That's something I couldn't say a few weeks ago. Honestly, I was having doubts. The changes were a lot for me and I was missing the comfort of the familiar. I frequently wondered if I had made the right choice. It's hard to know if you made the right choice until you look around one day and it just hits you whether you're truly happy or just faking it. For those of you in places (physically or metaphorically speaking) that you're not happy in right now...don't let it get to you. One day you'll get to where you want to be. And when that day comes, It'll be all the more sweeter.

With much love,

Lauren.

Outfit Details:
Vintage Celine Paris Shirt (super similar) : Thrifted.
Corduroy Skirt (similar midi option I love) : Thrifted.
Braided Belt (identical): Thrifted.
Sandals (very similar from Steve Madden): c/o Boohoo.
Black Satchel (similar): Forever21.

Simply Put.

7 comments
Hey everyone!

After being on a computer for 8 hours a day, it's usually hard to motivate myself to come home and get on the computer again. Hence, the lack of blog posts. The thing I've always loved about my blog though is that no matter what stage of my life, my blog is always there. Sometimes I have more time, energy, and inspiration to dedicate to it than others. The important thing to me isn't how much I post, but if the posts are something I'm proud of and feel "me." Those are always two items I make sure to check off on my list!

Lately I've been unwinding in the evenings with Jane the Virgin on Netflix. Do any of you watch it? I got through season one within two weeks and am already forging through season two rather quickly. A little two quickly, ha. Can't decide if I'm team #Rafael or team #Michael. It changes every episode!

For my commutes in and out from work on the subway I've been carrying along "Girl Boss" to read. I've read it once before, but figured when I was packing for NYC it would be a good one to bring along as for the next chapter of my life. I'm pretty sure I raved about it the first time I read it, and I'm gonna rave a second. You HAVE to read this book. It's a motivaor, a confidence instiller, and you-can-do-this-you're-a-badass mantra. The advice Sophia gives is so poignant to my life as a 20 something professional trying to find her way...and it's so on point for people in other stages of their life, too. Are you a girl? Do you want to own your life? Then Girl Boss is for you. Even if you're a guy, it's still for you. Kicking butt in your professional life is for all genders.

Anddd  final, concluding notes of the evening. It's totally acceptable to eat an entire box of macaroni and cheese by yourself for dinner, Satan created the moring subway commute in NYC, buy plants (surrounding yourself with living things is proven to make you feel better), and being nice won't make you finish last--it'll always put you in the lead before crossing the finish line. x

With much love,

Lauren

Outfit Details:
Aeropostale Shirt.
Thrifted Skirt
Boohoo Sandals (c/o)
Thrifted Scarf

Bluebell.

5 comments











My wardrobe here in New York hasn't felt very 'me.' I've always been the worst at packing clothes for trips or moves. I try to plan it all out rationally and, admittingly, somewhat obsess over it...only to feel like I didn't bring anything right when it's all said and done.

The clothes I packed for my move to NYC are a lot of versions of me that I've tried out over the last few years. Trendy Lauren, Boho Lauren, Minimalist Lauren, Edgy Lauren...none of it is really cohesive and none of it makes me feel like myself. What you wear can have a big impact on your life. It boosts your confidence and makes you feel better. When you feel your best, you perform your best. It's like when I was a competitive swimmer. I wouldn't wear my practice suits with holes and faded patterns to the biggest meet of the season: I would wear a tight, sleek, new suit to help me physically and mentally beat the competition.

I haven't had that 'pep' in my step when I get dressed in the morning for work and, it was taking a toll on my confidence. I know clothes probably shouldn't sway my self-worth so easily, but for someone who's always had trouble showing who she was on the inside, it's detrimental I show it on the outside.

After work last Friday I tried to cure my blues with a little looking around at the usual NYC budget shops like H&M and Forever21. Even with the big mid-summer sales as stores gear up for back-to-school, nothing caught my eye. It was still all too over priced, too generic, too uninspiring. I took the train back to Brooklyn exasperated and disappointed, but only to remember previously spotting a Goodwill a few stops from where I usually get off.

I decided to give it a go even though I've shyed away from the thrift stores here in NYC because I didn't want disappointment. I knew it would never be like home, most likely being over priced and picked over. At this point I didn't have anything to lose, and I was so, so pleasantly surprised. I found some amazing stuff at this thrift store and yes, it was more than I pay back home, but it was still a lot less than I would pay in any store. When I started sifting through those racks and piling things into my cart, I felt a rush of excitement and familiarity. I felt like me again. I love to thrift. I love to search for my clothes and find special unique items that define who I am. I will always love vintage. No matter all the hats I try on (metaphorically and literally) I will always come back to my vintage roots. This dress makes me feel amazing and confident and like the best version of myself. Every piece of clothing you put on in the morning should make you feel like that. Build a wardrobe of pieces you love. x

With much love,

Lauren

Outfit Details:
Dress (similar with boat neck line & subtle pattern for $40) Thrifted.
J Crew Flats (similar at J. Crew now): Thrifted.

Floral Mural in Brooklyn.

6 comments
nyc blogger
Brooklyn fashion blogger
floral mural in brooklyn


Hello everyone!

The first week at my new job is ✔️. It was a great first week and I've loved what I've been doing so far. I have a lot of creative freedom to put posts together, but there is an aspect of the job that's quite like piecing together a puzzle.  I have to work with all the departments in order to make sure the post is accurate, representational, and  legal. It makes the job very multi-dimensional because I get to see so many sides of the clothing production business. Often times I feel like I'm seeing the four years of my education come to life all in one building. It's fascinating and exciting to see all I learned come together. If you'd like to follow along with what I'm doing, you can like our Facebook page. I'm also in the midst of working on launching a blog and newsletter for the company, so I'll keep you all updated on that!

Another thing that's been pretty exciting is that I was in The Cleveland Plain Dealer today: Ohio's largest newspaper! Back when I was still living in Ohio, I went to Cleveland to do a fun shoot and interview with the fashion editor. I styled up five outfits, one from each decade, and it was my first time being shot in a studio. I haven't seen the printed version of my feature yet, but it was amazing to see it all come together for the online one.

With all the excitement and change that's been going on lately, it was nice to have just a relaxing day at the apartment today. I did laundry for the first time since being here, which I'd been putting off since I'd never used a laundromat! I had nothing to worry about and it's really not any different than doing laundry at college (can't say at home because my mom still does it there; lol). Only difference? My purse is now weighed down with $20 in quarters!

Love you all! Thanks for always reading and visiting. x

With much love,

Lauren

Outfit Details:
Blouse (very similar): Forever21.
Suede Skirt (very similar from ASOS): Thrifted.
Flats (mine are sold out, but I have my eye on these next!) : c/o Loly in the Sky.
Hat: c/o OASAP.
Belt (similar): Thrifted.

Off the Shoulder.

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styling off the shoulder top
someone like you outfit
vintage scarf
someone like you blog
retro outfit
lauren pfieffer outfit
lauren pfieffer blogger











Hello everyone!

I started my job yesterday! It felt great to finally have something solidifying my life here. To be honest, the past three weeks have just felt like a vacation of some sorts. New York IS great, but I've felt lacking in purpose and direction. You can only drink coffee in Bryant Park and window shop in soho so long before it all becomes rather empty. I've been going through a sort of identity crisis, as well, as I realize my pursuit of education is completely finished. I went to school for 16 years where I always had an end goal. Finish this paper. Take these exams. Complete this grade. Move to high school. Go through college. I worked really well with having a plan set out for me and being able to tangibly see my goals in front of me.

Post grad life is...confusing. I don't know exactly what to do with myself now that I don't have those distinctive milestones laid out for me. After you graduate college, planning your life is up to you to take in any direction you please. I went in the direction of New York City like a lot of post-grad hopefuls do. Although I have a job, I still feel a lack of purpose because it's an endless abyss laid out before me with no end date. Doesn't mean it's a bad way to live. Just a way I'm not used to. Now is the time to flourish, set my own personal goals, and challenge myself. I don't need a higher education system to do that for me any longer. It can be daunting and scary because without having direction you just wander aimlessly until you get it figured out. But, as J.R.R. Tolkien states perfectly:

"Not all those who wander are lost"

With much love,

Lauren




Outfit Details
Off the shoulder black top: H&M
Denim skirt: Thrifted
Black Heels: Payless
Scarf: Thrifted
Sunglasses: Thrifted

7 Tips for Scoring Great Pieces at the Thrift Store

1 comment
how to thrift shop

Hey everyone!

It seems like I've had this post in the back of my mind forever to write up. How to find great pieces at the thrift store is probably the #1 question I get from you guys, so it's about time I spilled all my secrets! I shared my top seven tips and tricks on the lovely Wonder Forest-- a site of collective contributors writing about blogging, fashion, décor, lifestyle, and more. There's tons of helpful articles to check out (I especially loved this SEO one I took notes on for my new job), so feel free to drop by and explore around.

Happy thrifting guys-- go out there and get the goods. x

With much love,

Lauren

Landed a Job in NYC!

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Exciting news guys...

I landed a job in NYC! I'm here to stay.

Relief is an understatement to finally close the door on 9 months of job searching. Ever since I left NYC last summer I've been trying to get back. It was a road filled with so much disappointment and discouragement at times... feeling like I wasn't qualified for anything, and watching my classmates line up careers before graduation even came around. I often thought to myself about how crazy I was. It's hard enough to get a job in fashion, let alone one in NYC. What was I thinking, trying to get back to NYC? I'm a small town girl from Ohio. Perhaps that's what I was always meant to be.

It's been a trying last year and I made the risky decision to move to NYC without a job. At this point I definitely realized I was crazy. You get to a point though that you figure you have nothing left to lose. I've been working on job leads the past two weeks here, going on interviews and pushing hard. I've had a few interviews with seriously great companies, but none of the work felt like what I was qualified to do. I'm a recent grad and I realize that you don't get your dream job right out of school. You have to work your way up the hard way, putting in the time and effort it takes to get you to where you want to be. I got a great offer from a company to do social media work, which is absolutely where I want to be. I didn't think I'd get the chance so soon, so I felt like it was really where I'm meant to be in my life right now.

So, I'm so excited I'll be working at Richard Leeds International as their Social Media Marketing Specialist! RLI is a sleepwear creator. A lot of the pajamas you see in Target, Wal-Mart, Torrid, Hot Topic? Made by Richard Leeds! In the fashion industry retailers don't always design their own products. They send the work out to private companies who do in house design work. Everything from concepting the garments, designing the silhouettes, drawing the characters, making samples and so on. My job in the company will be managing the social media networks and blog. Social media is a vital asset to companies because it directly connects you with the consumer. It's an extension of the brand and can influence customer opinions and sales. Social media as a career is not just playing around on Instagram and Facebook: it's serious, important work!

Monday is my start date and right now I'm a mixture of excitement and terror (admittingly). This is my first real job guys! In the big, big city. Sometimes I don't feel like this is my life. It has been a crazy, exhilarating roller coaster so far and I'm sure there's going to be plenty more twists and plunges ahead. No one ever said following and making your dreams happen was easy, but for me I can't imagine doing anything else.

With much love,

Lauren

Polka Dots in Prospect Park.

2 comments

Hello there!

I've been trying to come up with a place to take outfit photos since I arrived in NYC two weeks ago. There's been a few failed attempts, but these are the first to come out somewhat decent. My blogging routine has just been sort of thrown for a loop because I had to get a new computer, tripod, and editing system in the past week. Nothing is how I am used to routinely shooting my blog photos, so it's taking me awhile to adjust. To be honest, it hasn't been as fun as usual to take my blog photos. It's exhausting trying to get to a location where I can safely take photos, and I haven't been satisfied with my outfits lately. They just don't feel like "me." My wardrobe is a mix mash of pieces, and I'm somewhere stuck in the middle of being an Ohio girl and an NYC girl. Trying to figure things out. Sometimes you just have to continue pushing through!

But, enough of the pity party I'm throwing for myself. New York City has been great and I've loved waking up to my new home every day. The craziest stuff just happens here. I was asked today while sitting in Union Square to give an interview for a casting director. They're casting real people for a fashion commercial (can't say the retailer's name, but it's one I shop at!), and they spotted me. The casters  did a video interview of me and it was just a pretty cool experience! Pretty sure I blushed the whole time. Highly doubt I'll be cast, but it's just fun experiences like this that make living in NYC always an adventure. x

With much love,

Lauren.

Outfit Details:
Top (similar solid color option): Aeropostale.
Dress (super similar + on sale!): Thrifted.
Purse(buy here): Forever21.


Outfit to Visit The Met.

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outfit to visit the met












Hey everyone!


One of the biggest perks of living in NYC now is having endless opportunities for exploration at my finger tips. I always felt like I was so limited when I lived here last summer because I had numbered days. I almost felt like I could never enjoy what I was doing because I was always rushing to see the next thing, trying not to waste a minute of my time in the city. Since living here permanently, it's such a nice feeling to come and go do things as I wished. Before I would have felt I had to spend ALL day at The Met because who knows if I would make it back. When I visited The Met the other day it was just a nice, relaxing few hours where I could really take the time to enjoy myself because I knew if I didn't see what I wanted, I can always come back.


Although this was my first time at The Met, I went specifically to see the Manus x Machina exhibit. Wow, wow, wow guys it was phenomenal. Not just the clothes, but the story behind the exhibit, as well. Manus means by hand and machina means by machine. In fashion, both are important. Haute Couture has always been highly valued because of its extreme hand work; however, more and more ateliers are looking to machines to take fashion to the next level that human hands cannot reach. One method is not greater over the other. The hand and machine are both vital to fashion's evolution and innovation of ideas. We may be living in the 'digital' age, but there is still nothing quite as breathtaking as hand embroidery or lacework. And although hand work is seen as superior, laser cutting, 3D printing, and so many other methods of design are unable to be ever done without machine.

If you're visiting NYC I highly recommend going to visit the museum. Although the Met suggests a donation of $25, not many people realize you actually can donate for your ticket as you feel comfortable with. Whether it be $100, $25, or $2, invest in the arts and the preservation of human creation!

With much love,

Lauren


Dress (very similar): TJ Maxx
Scarf (similar): Thrifted
Flats (similar): Thrifted
Beret(similar): Target
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