Navy Pleated: Thrifted.
Navy Skinny Belt: Charlotte Russe.
Brown Socks: Stolen from Mom.
Brown Wedges Shoes: Target.
Brown Purse: Thrifted.
Gold Chain Earrings: Thrifted.
So I have been thinking lately about a lot of things. It seems like my mind is always swimming with thoughts and I have no idea how to put these feelings and emotions into words.
I originally started this blog last November for two reasons: 1.to document my personal style as it grew 2. to express my feelings because I had no way else to release them. Blogging quickly went from being a hobby, to an absolute passion. Although I had no followers for months and comments would be one here and there, I still loved to blog with all my heart because it was for myself. Even after I started gaining followers, I always kept in mind what I wanted to blog about, not what I thought would please others. When people ask, "I'll follow your blog if you follow mine," I've never accepted that offer. I want my followers to be genuine and not just follow my blog because they want to gain more followers. Blogging was never about how many followers I had, or if I got any comments on a post. It still isn't about all of that. I blog because I am so inspired by all of you, and I want to share what I love with others who are like me because honestly in reality, I am quite alone.
Whenever I'm having a bad day, it's such a relief to come to this blog and vent out my feelings and frustrations. My blog is my sanctuary. It is who I am and what I am all about. Lately, however, I have just felt so...not me. Whereas I used to feel like I could say anything I wanted on this blog, recently have felt restricted in what I can say. Many people from school read my blog, and this concerns me. I feel like what ever I have to say will be blasted around at school, or that I might offend someone by something I say. There have been things I have wanted to tell you all who do not know me personally in real life, that I have not because of fear of conflict arising from fellow classmates who read my blog. Some of these classmates I have given my address to, some of them I have not. I'm not even sure who from school read my blog. The point is, it's not fair that I can no longer fulfill one of my main goals of my blog of expressing my personal feelings. This just absolutely breaks my heart.
Also, I've had a real problem at people from my school lately. During the summer I felt so...free. I felt so...alive and totally and utterly...me. With school having started, the life and individuality I love about myself has disappeared. Every outfit I wear is scrutinized, and then soon copied. People are so uninspiring and everyone is...the same. I get little to no inspiration from my fellow classmates. There is no individuality, no spark, no anything really. The people at my school devour me and tear me apart everyday... The one thing I love people are taking over and doing for all the wrong reasons. My individuality is being stripped from me and there is nothing I can do about it. I cannot stop people from copying me and the things I do. It makes me so upset because these people do what I do because they are insecure, not because they want to express themselves through clothing. These people are unsure of who they really are, so they find it acceptable to steal someone else's identity. They want compliments to make themselves feel beautiful and confident. They want stares to make themselves feel noticed and important. They want to dress up for all of the wrong reasons. It's literally killing me inside to see what I am passionate about being done by other people for reasons like those. I dress for no one but myself. I do not wear dresses and heels everyday to get compliments or prove myself to all of you here that read my blog. I dress in dresses and heels everyday because it's just who I am. Clothing is the only way I can let people see who I really am since I am such an introverted individual. I'm tired of posers, copy cats, and wannabe people. Is it so hard to just be yourself anymore!?!
So, because of all of these thoughts that have been bouncing around furiously in my head. I have made an important decision. I will be taking a short hiatus from my blog. Nothing major, I promise. I love blogging too much to give it up completely. I will not be blogging at all for approximately 5-7 days so that I can sort some things out in my mind. I need to get inspired again. I have to clear my head and just... think. I know that when I come back to blogging I will have a fresh and new mindset. Things in my life have just been so overwhelming lately and I need to find focus. When I say I will not be blogging, I mean just posting only. I still plan on reading and commenting on all of your blogs as usual! I just need to take a little break from mine to refocus.
I just want to sincerely thank you all so much if you just read my big long rant, and to those of you who skimmed, that's okay, too. ;) ( I really can't blame you) It sounds so corny, but I want to thank all of you and tell you that I love you. Really. Your support means everything to me.