Peter Pan Collar Dress: Forever21.
Purse, Heels: Thrifted.
Black Beret: Target
For as long as I can remember I've loathed my thighs. It all started when I was a young girl and I was at a swim meet. Me and three other girls were waiting behind the starting blocks for our race and we were just chatting to pass the time. One of the girls though, who was naturally thin as a rail, turned to me and the other girls and said " if your thighs touch each other when you're standing straight, it means you're too fat." Of course, me and all of the other girls looked down at our thighs to examine them. I was dismayed to find that my thighs did in fact touch, and the girl smirked at me as to say, "See? I'm skinny and you're fat." I've never forgotten this incident.
So, throughout the years I've tried everything to tone my thighs. Running. Squats. Jumps. But none of that ever helped me become satisfied with my thighs. The words of that girl always rang through my head. Yesterday when choosing my outfit, I picked out a new pair of black shorts that I bought from Old Navy a few weeks ago. I tried them on and looked at myself in my full length mirror to see myself. All I saw was huge, thunderous thighs. That instant thought that came into my head was "Lauren, you're too big to wear shorts like that." I thought about changing out of the shorts because I was so horrified of my appearance, but I decided against it because I rather liked the outfit.
Yesterday while taking outfit pictures I was very insecure about my body. I kept trying to position my legs in a more flattering way, and if I thought my legs looked too big in a picture I would delete it. When walking, all I could think about was how my thighs would jiggle when I walked and I was sickened. Then, when I went out into the public after my pictures, I couldn't help but be self-conscious and wonder every time a person passed me if they thought my legs looked huge.
It's sad, isn't it? The way I, and millions of other woman feel about our bodies. The negative, skewered view that we have of ourselves. I know in my heart that my thighs aren't really that big, but my eyes and mind make me think something differently. In today's society that's how we all react. We see something different in the mirror than what is really there. We see the imperfections, the flaws, and all of the other things that we think are unattractive about ourselves. But what is really there when you look back into that mirror? I can tell you it's a beautiful, real, woman. A woman who's body is gorgeous no matter what her shape or size is. It doesn't matter if your thighs touch or your stomach sticks out. It doesn't matter if your arms jiggle or your butt doesn't fit in a size zero pant. You're beautiful.
After taking a rejuvenating and thoughtful walk today I came to the realization of all of this. That what I'm thinking and saying to myself about my body is just wrong. So many other woman fall into the same trap that I do, too. Very often on my blog and other blogs I will read comments that say, "I would never be able to pull this off like you because me (insert body part) is too big." I do this exact same thing and I'm definitely not proud. It's not right to compare ourselves to someone else because we are all wonderfully beautiful in our own unique ways. I'm going to take the stand to start loving my body the way I should instead of bashing it. Will you?
For my junior paper this year I wrote it on how the media affects women's body image negatively, and I ended up getting the highest score in my class with a 98%. If you all would be interested, I would be more than happy to post it all for you to read. Of course, don't be too harsh on my writing. Remember, I'm only a junior. NO I mean, senior now, hehe.
With much love, Lauren.
P.S. If you would like to read another post about my personal issues with body image, here it is.