I don't talk much about Matt on this blog which is sometimes ironic. I talk about every little aspect of my life except him and he's one of the biggest parts of my life. Perhaps I do this because I'm protective. I'm fine with getting flak and mean comments about myself and my life, but I feel protective and sentimental over Matt and our relationship. I was thinking the other day though how I don't believe I've ever told you all Matt and I's story. Well, here it is:
I was only thirteen years old and in seventh grade when I first heard about this guy named Matt. He had beautiful blue eyes that made my heart melt and blonde, blonde hair. From a few of my close friends I heard that he had a little crush on me and I was at first amazed that an older, cute, and mature guy could ever like a girl like me. A girl who had never had a boy like her, let alone an actual boyfriend... I was smitten to say the least! One day I was on my instant messaging system (because it were so 'hip' back then), and I received a strange message from someone I didn't know. Come to find out that it was actually the very same Matt that I had heard thought I was cute! Everyday I looked forward to coming home to school and instant messaging Matt. We bonded over silly things we had in common like our love of hot fudge sundae pop tarts: which was oh-so important back then, ha! I always tried to catch glimpses of Matt at school, but it was difficult because he was in the grade above me. My seventh grade school year came to an end and my summer began. The summer that changed my life.
In order to meet for the first time, Matt and I arranged a first date. Ahem, a first double date. We brought along our two best friends to go putt putt with us and it was horribly awkward to say the least and a total disaster...I remember feeling butterflies though every time Matt touched my hand when he gave me my purple golf ball. None of the awkwardness mattered.
We began dating on June 18th, 2007. Irony would have it that we met on the internet and would start dating on the internet. I remember when he asked me through instant messaging " will you be my girlfriend?" Of course I said yes... with tears in my eyes of course because I'm an emotional person,but everything wasn't always so perfect. I couldn't tell my parents about my new found boyfriend because they didn't want me to even date until I was sixteen. The whole summer I had to hide Matt from my parents and I felt awful and just sick with guilt. Keeping the secret from my parents wasn't our only problem either. Matt would be attending high school in the fall and I would be at the junior high. We felt that perhaps we should part ways because the relationship wouldn't work out with us being at two different schools.
However, fate would have it that just two weeks later I saw Matt for the first time in months at the Friday night football game. I was ashamed and refused to look him in the face and had my friends help me avoid him all night. Eventually though he found me and we talked and it felt...relieving to see him again and speak to him again. We decided to take a chance, get back together, and try and make things work with us being apart. And obviously things did work out :)
It's been four years since Matt and I started dating. We've both changed in many ways...physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, even after all of these changes the both of us have always stuck together. He's been the only one besides my parents who has been there for me through everything. Through losing friends over the years and heartbreak, to the point where I starved myself through my OCD. He's been the support I needed through the good and the bad and I wouldn't trade him for anyone. He's shown me what it's like to truly care and sacrifice for another person, and most of all he's shown me what it means to love and be loved my another individual.
This next year is going to be tough. Really tough. We're faced with the same situation that we were four years ago: being separated. I'm scared that I'll have to finish my last year of high school without Matt, but I know in my heart I can do this just like I dealt with being separated four years ago. I know that God will give me and Matt the strength to get through this next year: jobs, college, high school and all with stride. It might not be easy and there will be bumps, but I know in my heart that we can get through this ❤
With much love, Lauren.