SomeoneLikeYou Monday, June 25, 2012
Butterfly romper, Black-Strap Heels, Black Satchel: Thrifted.
Purple Beret: Target.
Black Flower Ring: Cato's.
It was like pulling teeth trying to capture these pictures today...you have no idea! I was probably out for a good hour and a half, taking photo after photo. The sun kept popping in and out, creating weird lighting and then I couldn't get my camera to focus... I went to about four different areas trying to find scenery I liked so that's why all of these photos aren't homogeneous! Shucks, don't you just hate it when it's a bad picture taking day...?
I couldn't stay in a sour mood for long though because come on, I'm wearing a butterfly romper! Not only that, but I'm also sporting a new lipstick to my collection- a pretty purple berry. I've been wanting to try out purple for awhile now, but been too chicken. I was afraid it would look strange on my skin tone or not flattering, but I must admit I quite like it! It's funny that I sport red lipstick without any fear all the time but become so timid when it comes to purple :)
Annnddd enough beating around the bush. About my post last night. My huge ranting, angry, unedited-and-probably-full-of-mistakes post. Sigh. I was definitely angry last night about the whole GOMI situation, but I've calmed down. I had a few people think that I shouldn't have written in retaliation, but to be honest I don't regret my moment of fury. I know it's better to ignore anonymous, mean, internet hate. I've even written a blog post about it before. Last night was different though. It's different than the snide comments I usually receive on here occasionally or on my formspring. A whole group of individuals, taking time out of their lives to beat down and pick me apart in every way they can? It's absolutely ridiculous and something I'll never stand for.
I was never bullied in high school and I'm so thankful. I have been bullied on the internet though and this is a prime example. I'm not going to take this crap. GOMI (and in my more particular case the forums) puts bloggers in fear and questioning every move they make on the internet. I don't want my blogging experience to be lived in fear. I want to have fun, I want to be myself, I want to blog with no inhibitions and not have to worry every thing I say being criticized and twisted and turned. Maybe it's the naive teenager in me to think this. I mean, you all are probably rolling your eyes in disgust right now thinking, 'come on, this girl doesn't expect to be ridiculed for pouring her whole life on the internet? Does she expect it to be this rainbows and sunshine place where no one criticizes her now, does she?' And in a way, yeah I do think that. I think I deserve a place where I can be all that I am because there's not many places in real life that I can be that. I do expect a little space where I can receive positive feedback and support FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE.
I'm not going to be submissive like all of the other bloggers who get attacked. Of course I can't do anything about it and I know the people are only fueled with more hate because I reacted, but I don't care. I really and truly don't. A reader pointed out the words on my blog header, 'Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.' I forgot about this. I forgot this saying that I put on the top of my blog when I started it two and a half years ago, and have always had since. I DO have the right to say what I feel and be who I am. If people don't like it, okay, fine. Something I've been realizing is you truly can't please everyone and for a people pleaser like myself, that's a hard realization.
I said what I had to say and got it out there. I haven't looked at the forum about me since I first saw it last night and I don't plan to. There's moments of weakness when I want to go to it, see what people really think about me, see if anyone's defending me, see what if other people think about me is what I think about myself....but I'm not going to. I know that I'm better off and I've had my say and I can move on. I'm not going to discuss it any further and I'm not going to keep ranting. What's done is done and it's out there and I can't do one.single.thing.about.it.
I will say though I am am a teeny tiny bit thankful for this. It's shown me that not all the internet is filled with mean souls- you all are so incredible! You make me feel so thankful that I blog and I'm so blessed to have all of you in my life ♥
With much love, Lauren.