Chambray Top: Thrifted.
Black Pleated Skirt: Forever21.
Leopard Flats, Black Beret: Target.
Red Envelope Clutch: c/o OASAP.
It's funny how some things come so unexpectedly, when you're leas expectant or ready. Today was the first day in my entire 19 years a boy has asked me for my phone number.
I was a bit shocked at first. Being in a relationship for five years since I was thirteen really gave me an nontraditional experience of relationships and dating growing up. I still feel thirteen in many ways when it comes to boys; I don't understand them and don't feel like I ever will.
I was flattered and shocked to be asked for my number. It was definitely a confidence booster because here at Kent, I feel like every single girl is more attractive, more fashionable, and more personable than myself. That's just how it goes when you go to a 26,000 student school.
But as much as I want to be happy about this small gesture of kindness (and you all are going to kill me) but I just can't move on quite yet and take that step. I'm not ready, and it has nothing to do with not being over Matt. For me, I just want some time to explore, find myself, and enjoy this college experience with no inhibitions. I don't want to be looking and worrying over boys. I want to find out and (as selfish as it sounds) do some things for myself for once. I've made a person my everything for so long and I'm not ready to jump into that again.
I know I should give things a shot, see where things go, be opened minded...but for me I'm content where I am and in good time I'll be ready for 'all that.' Right now I just want to explore learning, friendships, and myself. All of this is so exciting and new and I don't want to waste a second of it.
So perhaps someday, just not right now, a guy can 'call me maybe.' ❤
With much love, Lauren.
