I'm taking psychology this semester (which I love) and as part of our grade, we have to be a participant in experiments. You know, I have to be an...er, test subject. It's really not as sketchy as it sounds, I promise! I went to my two scheduled sessions last week, each an hour and a half long. I just took a test full of various, random questions, asking me to mark disagree strongly, disagree somewhat, agree somewhat, agree strongly, ect. The questions were of all sorts imaginable, around a thousand of them. I thought it was silly at the beginning of the test that there was a warning and I had to sign, agreeing that I was going to take this test and some of the questions may offend or upset me. I wondered what of these silly questions could make me upset.
I went along my second session last Monday, answering questions speedily, impatiently wanting to get on with my evening. That is until I came upon one that quite shocked me. It said;
Have you ever been in love?
I sat there for a moment, somewhat stunned. All of the rest of the answers had come easily to me, without even thinking. The room started spinning and I got hot; my heart stopped though, as soon as I read it. I quickly put no (as it was a yes or no question) and sat there a few minutes, tears welling up into my eyes unexpectedly. I told myself to get it together, not to cry in front of a bunch of strangers, but all I could think about was what I'd been through in the last month...for the last five years. I sat there, reliving so much so quickly, like watching a motion picture. I put my head in my hands, unsure of why all the emotions were coming to me, so out of the blue, out of something as harmless as a yes or no questions.
I then turned my pencil upside down and erased my no.
I circled yes, I have been in love.
With much love, Lauren.
