You Make Me New.

420 comments
Denim Button Up: Target.
White Eyelet Dress: Delia's.
Pearl Necklace an Bracelets: Forever21.
Tan Riding Boots: Old Navy.

Hello, hello everyone and long time no see!

How I missed you all, but I had the most incredible, life changing weekend... It sounds so corny but I feel like a totally new person. A new Lauren. The happiest Lauren I've ever been. Not just saying I'm happy, but really and truly feeling it from the bottom of my soul. I've never felt this before.

I went on a retreat this weekend with a Christian group called The Navigators (NAVS) to Indiana. I spent two and a half days , realizing that I've been living for nothing the past 19 years of my life. I was raised Catholic and went to church every single Sunday, almost never missing a single mass. I was baptized, confirmed, and the whole shebang. I thought I was a follower of Him and I never really doubted anything.

But I've been lonely my entire life. Let down time after time with people I love with all my heart. I've felt depressed, suicidal, empty, and everything and anything a person should NOT feel in their life. It took going to this retreat this weekend to realize what I've been lacking and saying what I've had and what I've been for all of my life when in fact...I'm not.

I've been living a lie for so long I can't even remember when it started. I get to this retreat and everyone is so advanced and just leagues and leagues ahead of me. I felt like an infant. I realized, truthfully, (and boy is this embarrassing) that I don't even know how to use a bible. I literally don't. And I was so filled with anger at myself for wasting 19 years of my life ,going through the motions and not giving myself to Him with all my heart.

On Saturday we had a huge worship session and there was a time where the band played and sang and everyone could silently pray. And for some reason, I just became so overwhelmed as I realized...' what am I doing with my life?' I went over to one of the staff members and just collapsed into her arms, a sobbing, shaking mess because I realize that I've been trying to find love in all the wrong places for so many years.

The reason I've felt so empty is because I haven't given myself to Him and haven't relied on Him to be the only one who will never let me down. He will be the only one who will always love me unconditionally.

I left Indiana with a lot on my mind and I still do have a lot on my mind. Ever since last Saturday when I went home for the weekend and had one of the lowest points in my life...I've just felt this unexplainable happiness and peace. I think that God realized that night when Matt went to homecoming with another girl that I needed help and I needed Him. And then then Sunday morning, as crazy as it sounds, I was just...better. I don't know why, I don't know how, but from last Sunday, all of last week, this past weekend, and even today I have been filled with this happiness that I have never felt before in my entire life. It's incredible.

I'm not going to turn this into a Christian blog or anything, but I just thought it was really important to share this weekend and these changes I've been going through lately. I know religion/believing is a touchy subject, but it seems like all I write about are touchy subjects on here so I suppose it fits right in, ha! But like I said, it was an important milestone I feel in my life that I wanted to tell you all about just like I do with everything else big that happens. 

I'm just so happy everyone. I can't even tell you. So, so happy.

With much love, Lauren.
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420 lovely little notes:

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Lola said...

I'm happy for you!

Felicia Gradowski said...

I love this outfit!!
And I hope you enjoyed my home state! (=
Go Hoosiers!

feliciasfingerpaints.blogspot.com

Carlee, Almost Endearing said...

Sounds like you had an absolutely amazing weekend! I love this look! And those boots are so beautiful.
Carlee
Almost Endearing

Michaela said...

Lauren, I just don't know what to say. I've been reading your blog for some time now. . .following your life story, enjoying your outfits, etc. However I've had a huge burden for you--a sisterly burden. I so wanted you to truly make Christ the center of your life, because, as it seems you've figured out, there is nothing we can do apart from His Grace and forgiveness. This post has made me happier than I can express--I'm practically crying. Please, if you want to talk at all, email me. I live pretty close by (not to sound creepy in any way.) My email address is on my blog.

I'll be praying for you!! :) :)

~ Michaela

Jessica Bradshaw said...

Wow, praise the Lord! That's great!! :)

Jeannee said...

Beautiful dress! And such an absolutely heart-touching and uplifting post + You can be a Christian fashion blogger -there are others - you can be anything you would like, young lady! The whole world is yours and God is with you!!!

marcia said...

eek! I am so excited for you! trust me, this is the most important decision of your life! Oh, I am so so so happy for you, I feel like cry tears of happiness. you can totally see the happiness in your eyes.

Katie Aman said...

Hey, nothing wrong with adding your faith into your blog! That's exactly why I started my blog, to share my love of Christ, but in a fun way by doing it with fashion. Praise the Lord for his goodness :) So happy for you!

Vicki said...

Lovely outfit! I really like the boots, and I love your hair.(: and you have such a lovely smile too (I think I've said it before, haha, but it's worth saying again).

And what a lovely post. I'm so happy for you! One thing that I've definitely realized throughout the years is that whenever I'm depressed or frustrated or angry, God is always there to lift me up and bring me back to him. We may not always acknowledge His presence, but He is always there. When I read your post, two passages came to my mind--"Call upon Me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee," and "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."(: oh, and "All things work together for good to them that love God." Even the hard hurtful things are done for our good, though we don't realize it at first, and maybe not even for months and years.

I'll keep you in my prayers, and if you ever want to talk or anything, you can always shoot me an email (hopefully that doesn't sound too weird!).

~Vicki
deckedoutinruffles.blogspot.com

Anne Reader said...

You look sooo beautiful! I am very happy that you're happy and better that way, through light.
I missed you, Lauren!

Emily said...

God fulfills, nothing else will. Learn to live your life like you're in love with Him, and things fall into place. I was raised and still am a devout Catholic, and the times that I've grown lukewarm about my faith were the most empty, lonely times of my life.
I'm so happy you're starting to see how beautiful Perfect, Unfailing Love is. You've been through a lot. But, you see, you've been through it - you're out of it. One day you'll look back and you'll be so far ahead with your life that you won't be able to see that dark place anymore.
Sorry for rambling. I'm just happy you're happy. :)

mycreativetouch said...

Hey Lauren,
That's awesome, it really is. Very happy for you, and it's helped me too. You'll find that it's not always easy to keep Him the focus, as I've found out. But that sentence about looking for love in the wrong place is so true. I've gotta remember that He's the right place, the only one. :-)
God bless! So happy for you Lauren.
Esther
www.mycreativetouch.wordpress.com

Rubi Diaz said...

Praise God! I am so happy that you're happy!

God bless you as you start this new walk with Him,

Rubi
lilyamongthornsblog.blogspot.com

Niki said...

I've been following your blog for a little while now, and have sensed a lot of pain in some of your posts. I am so glad that you have started to discover the extravagent love of the Lord. He is the only thing that will ever really fill us and give us life and joy. So happy for you!

Niki
nikis-notebook.blogspot.com

Katie Q. said...

Wow Lauren, I'm really thrilled that you're in such a happy place right now! (Please don't worry about writing about religion, it's nice having a place just to talk about stuff and I'm thrilled just to see you doing better dear!) I know it's been pretty rough for you lately and I'm just over the moon happy for you right now. :)

(And wow, now I want to wear a white dress, boots and a denim shirt! But brrr, we just got snow up here and it's back to the fleece-lined tights for me.)

Lauren said...

:) Gonna hopefully post my own story this week. I think God is looking out for both of us, girly.

Sarah Beckett said...

I am in tears of happiness for you! I have been praying for you and hope that the journey ahead will be a happy one.
Lots of love,
Sarah

Anonymous said...

This outfir is one of the best I have ever seen on your blog, i love it! You look so pretty.
I am so happy for you! The happiness that God gives is really the best one :)Stay strong!
Olga

Leanna Kay said...

Oh Lauren, this makes my heart so glad. I'm so incredibly happy for you!!! I will continue to pray for you, sista!

-Leanna

Alice, Pretty Confused said...

I'm so glad you are feeling happier with yourself Lauren. I'm not religious, but I feel very strongly that people have the right to choose their own path to happiness. If bringing your religion closer to your life will give you that happiness, and allow you to love yourself a little more, then I'm really happy for you.

I love this outfit too, the denim shirt and white dress look fantastic together. I love that last photo of you too, you look so joyful xo

Marie Danielle said...

That is wonderful Lauren! Glad to hear you sounding so cheerful and happy. :-) And btw.. the outfit is amazing. Perfect transition into Autumn weather! :-)

Kezzie said...

Big smile on my face for you!
Don't worry, I felt like that after what happened with Tom and I started going to church again! I couldn't believe how much time I'd wasted! So happy for you! Bless you lots! x

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you! :)

Katherine / Of Corgis and Cocktails said...

i adore your beautiful lace dress and boots

<3 katherine
of corgis and cocktails // current giveaway

Anonymous said...

Dear Lauren,
I am SO happy for you!!!! I am also a Catholic, and I'm striving to become closer to Christ.
www.catholic.com is a great website to get inspired about our faith and to have questions answered. :) Don't be afraid to speak out about your faith, its beautiful when you do!
Your outfit is so cute!
~N.K.

Laura said...

Yay! I'm so pleased to hear about your weekend. It sounds like you had a great time. Glad that you are feeling refreshed and renewed.

Also, I love the way how you wore your denim shirt. I got one recently that is very similar and I wasn't sure how to wear it, maybe I'll try it with a skirt or dress.

xoxo,
Laura
http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/

Rosa & Monique said...

Bom Dia Lauren!
Meu nome é Rosa, sou brasileira e recentemente descobri seu blog.
Gosto muito de moda e quando vi suas fotos no lookbook.nu, resolvi pesquizar para ver se encontrava alguma coisa a seu respeito.
Apesar de gostar muito dos seus looks, o que mais chamaou minha atenção foram seus textos.
Fiquei muito feliz ao ler este último, sempre soube que a única coisa que faltava ao seu coração era Jesus Cristo.
Não conheço você, mas conheço o meu Deus e sei que ele te ama acima de TUDO E DE TODOS.
Goistaria muito de trocar e-mail com Você.
Se puder me escreva nesse endereço:
rosa_allves@hotmail.com

Grande abraço e que Deus sempre esteja com você!!!

Kristian said...

I am glad for you!

Ashlyn said...

It is so good to hear this, Lauren. I don't have words to tell you how wonderful this makes me feel. I'm proud of you for writing about what you believe even if you think it might not be "popular" or even if it is a touchy subject. It's a part of you and a damn awesome one at that.

And now for the not as serious part, your outfit would fit right in down here in Tennessee! Dresses, denim, and boots are staples of any Southern fashionista, I kid you not. Maybe we can make that a reality some day and you could come visit :D.

All the best,
Ashlyn
Triple Thread

Beautifully Pure said...

Lauren! I think is just my favorite outfit of yours ever! So gorgeous!! <3

And I'm so glad for your life changing weekend! I had that happen four years ago and it was so amazing. Congrats!

bethy said...

This is fantastic!
I'm so happy for you.
Beth xxx

Anna Olivia said...

Lauren! This makes my heart sing. I don't want to be pushy or nosy but I honestly long to talk about this with you, it's just so exciting. Feel free to shoot me a note and share anything with me you'd like, if you ever feel the need...my arms are open to you with this!! ahhh, this is SO SO SO wonderful.

also, this outfit is adorable. one of my faves.

<3,
John 15:4,
anna

Teddi said...

as long as you're happy! you've been sad for so long. we just want you to feel well.

Anonymous said...

Wanted to share with you the most beautiful quote (& my favorite)

"To fall in love with God is the greatest of all romances; to seek Him, the greatest adventure; to find Him, the greatest human achievement." ~St. Augustine

This quote has changed my life!
♥your Catholic sis

justicepirate.com said...

I think it is truly beautiful and very important to share this on your blog even if it isn't necessarily a "Christian blog"
I am glad you found a great group to be able to fellowship with and worship with. May The Lord continue to help and bless you and your friends.
+Victoria+

justicepirate.com said...

I think it is truly beautiful and very important to share this on your blog even if it isn't necessarily a "Christian blog"
I am glad you found a great group to be able to fellowship with and worship with. May The Lord continue to help and bless you and your friends.
+Victoria+

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