A white wall. Stark white with nothing on it. In a small bedroom with a big window where the light can shine through in the morning. In the evening, the wall will be lit up with beautiful watercolors of red, orange, and yellow from the sunset. And when it's dark, fairy lights will illuminate the wall and lead the way to a dream land.
I want to fill the wall up with pictures. From edge to edge, leaving just an inch of space between each so you can tell where one begins and one ends. From the floor to the ceiling I want a picture in each spot. Imperfect pictures. Not taken with an expensive camera or equipment, altered in photoshop. Taken with a simple disposable camera. Where the image is all grainy and there's sun light leaking in, making the image almost blurry. I want them to be dark and full of emotion, show life as it truly is. Raw and full of beauty.
I would take pictures of everything for my wall. All of my favorite things, favorite memories, favorite people. I would take pictures of coffee in ceramic mugs and latte art. The abandoned and worn down buildings in the downtown distict of my city. Grafetti on the walls and chalk on the sidewalk. Cupcakes. The way the sun looks as it's just disappearing over the hills. Reflections in puddles after a good rain. My favorite dresses hung up on the walls with the sunlight peeking through them, making them seem like ghost clothing. My favorite underpinnings, retro swimsuits, and a pair of spectator shoes. My little sister's smiling, goofy face and a picture of a picture from when we first adopted her. When she had big eyes filled with sadness, tears at the brims.
I would take pictures of brick sidewalks and street lamps. Both at night and during the day. The delicateness of a woman's collar bone and the strength of her strong pair of legs. Bottles of finger nail polish, hair bows, and lipsticks. Don't forget the lipsticks. No matter if they're brand new, worn down, or broken. I want to take a picture of all of them.
And a picture from my lips to chest. So you can't see my eyes or my body, just my silly, big lips that are smiling. I would wear red lipstick. Oh, and you know what else? Pictures of shoes. An aerial view of my shoes and a boy's shoes. Both are dusty, scuffed, and worn but they show life. A boy's shoes so that no one would know who he was and I could keep the secret all to myself and no one would have to know. No one would have to question me or wonder or judge. He would be just a pair of shoes.
The nature center. All of the overgrown fields that have the prettiest, haziest sunlight. Where I love to lay in the summer time with a floral crown a top my head and a white eyelet dress. The lake that has the cattails sticking up and the frogs that talk back at you when you tell them to pipe down. The abandoned bridge and the river that runs underneath it, and I would have someone take a picture of me as I try and walk on the rocks and make my way across. I'd probably fall.
I want their to be a picture of my friends. All of us holding hands, smiling. Maybe after NAVS because that's when our smiles are real. A picture of my bible open to my favorite verses that's been highlighted and underlined and arrows drawn to it. Yes, that'd be perfect.
Finally, I want a picture of me turned around. Sitting down with my favorite straw fedora hat on (you all know the one). I want my eyes to be sparkling with life and I want their to be a mischievous smile on my lips. I want my head to be bent backwards because I'm laughing so hard from something someone said to me. I want to see what I feel in my heart and capture it in real life to make sure it's real.
I want all of these things, all of these moments in pictures. I want to make them, live them, cherish them. I want to put them on a plain white wall, edge to edge with an inch in between so you know where one stops and one begins. So I can look at them every morning when I first open my eyes, and have them be the last thing I glance at when I fall asleep ♥
With much love, Lauren.