Now It's Just Me.

16 comments
Lace Blouse: Forever21.
Red High Waisted Shorts: Thrifted.
Bunny Flats: Giveaway win from Le Bunny Bleu.
Headband: Found it.
Lipstick in MAC's 'Russian Red.'

I saw the old man yesterday when I pulled in the driveway with my 2004 red beetle, moon roof down and music throbbing through the speakers. The one we always ran into every summer when we would go on our summer evening walks. 

I would always complain because I was lazy, making up a half hearted excuse it was too hot out. But you would pull me out the front door into the haze of the impending twilight with the promise we would go to McDonald's afterwards. Persuading me with food like a dog. The nights were always so balmy, so beautiful. I wouldn't take them for granted now. We would walk along the sidewalks of the neighborhood and talk. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Sometimes they were serious talks and sometimes we couldn't stop laughing. We were always avoiding people and walking onto the other side of the street just to escape awkward 'hellos' and 'how are yous.' You were always more antisocial than you let on, maybe a part of me rubbed off onto you. But there was an old man who hobbled around the quiet houses and freshly manicured lawns with his wooden cane. 

He was old, but not too old. African-American with a little bit of a beard that was mostly gray. He wore a base ball cap and always held a toothpick in the crook of his mouth. Sometimes he would walk with an older woman who we assumed was his wife. When we didn't see her with him, we would hold our breaths and hope that she hadn't passed because we cared about this old man. Why, I don't know. We just did. He was so kind with the most sparkling eyes and he would always greet us with such endearment, the two kids he had been seeing walk around the neighborhood at the same time he did for the past five summers. He didn't know our names. He didn't know our ages. But he knew us. And for some reason, I didn't know how much he meant to me until I saw him yesterday for the first time since last summer.

Because I had forgotten about all of these little things up until that moment that he gave that same wave he always did and that same, 'how you doing young lady?' It brought me back instantly, almost scarily. Nostalgia taking over my entire body and mind. And then in that moment he looked at me with that same smile he used to give the both of us I sent a silent prayer to God that he wouldn't ask me about you.

Because now it's just me.

With much love, Lauren.
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16 lovely little notes:

lazy explorers said...

I'm crying right now.
You wrote this so well.

Delaney Young said...

So beautiful!

Maria said...

You are such a talented and gifted writer Lauren. Seriously, I can't get over how beautiful what I just read was.
Beautiful and smart <3
xo Maria
http://avenuemaria.blogspot.com
P.S: I am dying to get my hands on a lace top like that one, you look absolutely lovely and summery1

Anonymous said...

Lauren. You are glowing in these pictures. Glad to see you're settling back into life at home.
-M

Laura said...

Seriously, you are such a talented writer - you took me there, you know?

And if I can be honest, I would bet half my wardrobe that man now sees a much happier lady. :)

By the way, you looks absolutely wonderful. Those shorts are amazing - aren't high-waisted shorts the best?

xoxo,
Laura
http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/

Charlene said...

You're an amazing writer.

And I absolutely love this outfit. It has a retro flair to it I love.

Your blog is beautiful. I'm your newest follower :)

xo, Charlene

Emma said...

Lovely photos and beautiful story! X

Léna said...

I'd love to have your red shorts :)

Ruby Sterland said...

Great photos, your outfit is so pretty! I love your nails too, by the way x

http://totalmodisch.blogspot.co.uk/

lucia m said...

loving the shorts!

JOIN MY CHANEL LIPSTICK GIVEAWAY
ON MY BLOG!

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Sammi said...

Oh, sweet girl. I hate when something unexpected like that can instantly sweep you back to a different time (it's good when it's a nice nostalgia, but awful when it's something raw like that). You are a lovely writer, my dear. And I'm so glad you kept these red shorts. They are amazing on you, and I love this whole outfit. Perfection!

xox Sammi
www.thesoubrettebrunette.blogspot.com

Vicki said...

Those shorts are too cute! I love the rest of your outfit as well!

~Vicki
Decked Out in Ruffles

Rebekah Bradford said...

I just love that headband! I've wanted one like that for awhile, but they just won't stay in my hair! Very beautiful writing. There's a man like that near our neighborhood. We never really talk, but he's just always sitting by this bridge on an old country back road looking out at the river. We wave to each other every time I drive by--it's seriously been for almost 8 years.

http://findingmyinspiration.blogspot.com/

countrygirlcityfashion said...

Your writing is beautiful - so whimsical and picturesque.
I also love your outfit - the colored shorts are adorable, and go so well with the headband and lace.

Christina Storey said...

This is such a lovely post lauren! Such a lovely way you wrote it and portrayed your emotions.
Christina xoxo

Tracey Goodnough said...

My heart just aches for you, prayers sent for you when I read this the other night. It's funny how God can use anything to make us into the person He needs us to be. There is beauty from ashes if He is the potter of your clay. Always trust in Jesus, He will never leave you of forsake you, His promises are always true :)

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