Polka Dot Blouse, Brown Flats: Thrifted.
Cape with Black Pipping: Forever21.
Wine Colored Circle Skirt: c/o OASAP.
Before I came to college I knew the one goal I had for myself-- to make friends. I never had a close group of friends in high school, and felt like college was my last chance at establishing a solid group of people who cared for me. Thankfully, I found a great group of guys and gals throughout the year that I could hang out with, confine in, and be myself around.
The thought never really occured to me that friendships don't just stop there. In my mind, all I could think about was once I had the friends, I was set for life. I didn't begin to think about the challenges I would face with my friendships coming back for my sophomore year.
Friendships always need nurturing, time, and care. I figured that the friends I made last year would just pick up where we left off at the beginning of May like nothing ever happened. But people and life evolve and it was silly of me to think like that! The biggest challenge I've faced these past few weeks in coming back to school, is maintaining and taking care of my friendships.
There seems to be this odd sense of disconnect with myself and everyone that I can't quite put my finger on. Sometimes I think it might be that I go through not socializing for so long, I come back awkward and unsure of myself. It's hard to adjust to the new lives we all have this year instead of the old ones where we met last year. Myself and all of my friends have changed-- different schedules, different majors, different views on life, different living situations. All which cause a strain in what seemed to work so well last year.
I think I definitely get hurt too easily when it comes to hanging out, as well. I instantly attribute someone not wanting to hang out or not being able to hang out to myself being the problem. It's been strange, but I've found myself to come back to college with many insecurities that I didn't have last year. I felt like my freshman year I didn't have anything to lose with these people, but this semester I value my friends so much that I am constantly seeking their approval or that they are fond of me.
Just some things I've been struggling with and realizing in the past few weeks here. It's definitely taught me and opened my eyes up to seeing, however, that friendships are never 'check, that's done. moving on!' They're a process, and something to be cherished and give your whole heart to. I appreciate much more now my friendships from last year and how they are evolving already this year.
With much love, Lauren.
