You're Makin' Me Blush.
SomeoneLikeYou Thursday, May 22, 2014
Pink Cotton 50's Dress: Bomb Shelter Vintage Shop.
Tapestry Purse: Thrifted.
Vintage Hat: Antique Market.
Lipstick in Smart Bomb's 'Posh.'
Hello everyone ♥
It's strange to think about getting married someday. My classmates are already starting to get engaged and plan weddings, and we've only been out of high school two years. It gets you starting to think about where you stand about getting married and all the jazz that comes with it.
I think it's very frightening, for me at least. I could just never marry young because there's too much I want to do on my own first. I don't think it's wrong for people to get married young, but I just don't feel as though it's a good fit for me. I'm a pretty independent person and for me my happiness is not defined on whether I'm in a relationship or not. I'd even stretch as far to say that it wouldn't bother me a whole lot if I never did get married. It's not that I don't want to; trust me, I'd love to. But I've realized in the past few years since becoming a Christian that if it's not in God's plan for me, then it's not. Simple as that. I've been happy for the times I'm single, and I've been happy for the times in relationships, so it feels good to have a peace in both, helping me feel more comfortable for what the future holds for me.
It just blows my mind that you have to decide you want to spend the rest of your life with one person and one person only. Such a scary, absolutely daunting decision. I'm an awful decision maker, so I can't imagine having to decide the man I'll be wed to under God. For me, I can't fathom just feeling ever 100% positive if that person was the one. I always manage to find fault with things, and I feel like my nit pickiness and uncertainty would just ruin the 99% positive I would feel for the 1% unsure that tags along with it. Divorce frightens me. I don't want to ever be divorced, but married once and only once. It's just hard to imagine being completely sure of that decision to pick one person to be with.
Then I kind of think about the actual wedding itself. Since coming home, I've 'wasted' (relative term, ha) a lot of hours watching bride shows on TV. I love them, but it also helps me put into perspective exactly what I'd like my wedding to be like. I see all the stress, money, and just work that goes into a wedding...and it scares me, not excites me to even think about planning it. Making sure guests are happy, it's photo worthy, that everything goes smoothly...sometimes it becomes less about the actual day and what it means and more about all of the 'things' that fill up a wedding. I think someday I'll want something small, something relatively inexpensive so I can just appreciate the day and the person I'm with rather than all of the swirling materialistic notions and distractions.
I don't know when I'll get married. I don't know who it will be with. I don't know if I'll still want a small wedding when it finally comes time to decide. But sometimes it's just interesting to think about and write down some thoughts so that when it does happen, you can see just where you were, the path you've come, and who you are at that moment. x
With much love, Lauren.