a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Distance is Relative.

Striped Dress: c/o Chicnova.
Hat: c/o OASAP.
Flats: c/o Pink and Pepper.
Necklace: Thrifted.

Hi there!

You know I was just thinking this morning how deceiving social media can be when it comes to relationships. Apps like instagram make it so easy to make a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend seem perfect to all the outsiders. It shows the posed and pristine moments of the relationship with witty tag a long lines or romantic odes. An instagram profile doesn't show the disagreements, the hard times, the moments away filled with missing the other, personality differences, and each other at their worst moments...It's putting your best foot forward, or your best 'relationship face,' forward for everyone.

I mean, no one wants to post about the negative things of relationships, and no one really wants to see all that drama either...but I think it's important to realize that there is more behind that beautiful photo of them kayaking together, the cute selfie of them on an ice cream date, or all the mancrush mondays and woman crush Wednesdays every week...Being in a relationship myself, at times it makes you feel like yours is inferior. You think, "well this couple is so cute and spends so much time together and does all these things...why can't my boyfriend and I? Why doesn't he post nice things about me on his pictures? Why isn't our relationship like that?" And it's so easy to fall into this pit of comparing your relationship to another's, just through social media, when you're just not seeing nearly the whole picture. It goes for single people, too. I know when I was single I dreaded seeing all the mushy gushy posts and it just made me feel sad and inferior to these couples...because I didn't have something like that and felt like I never would.

I don't think stopping posts about a relationship and the little moments you have together on the internet is the answer. It's fun to document these moments, share them with others, and look back on and it would be silly if everyone withheld posting about their relationship just so others wouldn't get jealous or sad. But I think what does need to be done (including for myself) is having the mindset that these relationships of people we follow are NOT perfect. We only get to see the small glimpse that people allow us to. Every relationship is different, perfect, and justified in it's own way--whether or not he gives you a dozen roses and makes you breakfast in bed or not.  Treasure your relationship you have, not wishing it were someone else's.

With much love, Lauren.
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