Cotton Blouse: Forever21.
Circle Skirt, Wide Brim Hat: c/o OASAP.
Cut Out Boots, Necklace: Thrifted.
Lipstick from Kiko Cosmetics in Italy.
Hello there!
I posted a photo of my senior pictures the other day on instagram (@passingwhimsies if you want to check it out), and it was interesting the responses I got from people. Nothing bad at all (lots of super sweet comments!), but people were just saying how princess like I looked and how the vintage look suited me. Sometimes I miss dressing in vintage; I really do. Posting that photo reminded me of who I used to be and how much I've changed. Not that I don't like who I am right now and how I dress, because I do. I guess I just never saw myself like this. I didn't ever expect to start getting into the style of clothes I am now or wearing my hair a certain way or looking to certain things for inspiration. I just figured I would always dress in vintage and it would be a passion of mine. And it still is-- I still drool over photos of beautiful vintage dresses and when I come across them in the thrift store I almost always can't pass them up. But as a day to day dressing style it's just not conducive with my life anymore. It became a persona for me and I felt like people weren't seeing me for Lauren, but for the 'retro girl' who was fun to look at. I wasn't into what I was wearing and sacrificed warmth, comfort, and accessibility for wearing these super delicate pieces. As a college student going to and from classes and living in a state where the weather stinks about 85% of the time, it just got too hard.
I miss aspects of vintage style dressing like the awesome community of gals it is. It's such a niche style of dressing and all of the friends I made when I wore head to toe vintage was amazing. And I miss just the respect of it, as silly as it sounds. People respected me and noticed me a lot more. It wasn't an every day thing to see someone dressed that nicely or a style so different, so I was able to be treated in a different way and admired differently. As vain as that sounds (super vain and I hate myself for it admittingly) but, I miss it. I just feel ordinary now like there's nothing particularity special about how I dress. Anyone can dress how I do-- it's not hard, it's not definable...it's just kind of 'meh' to be honest.
I don't know, I'm just in a really confused state of my personal style right now. Posting that throw back photo of me wearing vintage brought up a lot of feelings. I feel like people don't like me as much when I'm not wearing vintage. It sounds weird and stupid but it's true. There's not something quirky, interesting, and sweet about me anymore. There's just this confused style that can't make up its mind. The problem is, I don't want to necessarily go back to the style I was doing. That wouldn't fix things because I don't feel like it represents me anymore after all the experiences and growing I've had. So I'm trying to find a new place where I feel confident and secure in my way of dress like when I found vintage. I don't know if it will be more boho like in this post; European; or the slight retro twist on modernity. It also doesn't mean I still don't love vintage and want to dress in it from time to time because it does make me feel beautiful and it is still a part of who I am. I guess what I'm trying to say is I just don't want it to be what I'm known for and expected of. I want the outside of me to fit the new inside I feel.
With much love, Lauren.
