Hi there everyone!
I was actually still in Ohio when I started putting together this post, but never got to finish it before I moved to NYC. So, I'm finishing it in my apartment in Brooklyn where I now officially live! I made the move yesterday and it all went fairly smoothly. I only brought a few suitcases and a backpack of items with me. The place I'm living in now with two roommates is pretty small and already furnished, so there's no need to bring all of my belongings.
My interviews for jobs don't start until next week, so thankfully I have time to get myself acquainted with and explore around the neighborhood. Being back in NYC has been quite the shock though. I'm the type of person who always needs to feel prepared. I don't particularly like to be caught off guard, so I do everything I can to prepare mentally and physically to make changes easier. In the months and weeks before my move here, I tried to mentally prepare myself for moving to a city for permanent residency, but it was never something I could quite comprehend. I didn't feel anxious, afraid, excited, or any emotion at all really. Moving was just moving and I couldn't seem to put any emotion behind it.
Within about .25 seconds of stepping off that plane the emotion came rushing at me like a flood. New York is something you just have to experience to learn from. You can't prepare for all of its uncertainty and chaos. That was something I learned last summer living here and forgot. Everything is learned by trial and error in New York. It's not an easy city to live in. It will chew you up and spit you back out in one day. The key is persistence.
I found the biggest emotion I've faced since my move is shock. I'm shocked by how everything here is my reality now. Before I always had the promise of returning back to Ohio from the strange and often times distressing elements that come with living in a city. To think that "this is it, this is how I will live my life now" is perplexing. Riding the subway and walking are how I get around. Not driving. I wake up and fall asleep to honks and sirens and loud music. Not humming cicadas and verbose bull-frogs. I live on the third floor of an apartment with two roommates where I have a set of keys to get in. Not a house with my parents where the door is always open.
Realizing how different things are kind of makes you feel like a part of you is now lost that you can't get back. It's not bad necessarily, just different. I'm a different Lauren already and I'm sure I'll evolve much more in the coming months.
I'm excited to share my journey of this NYC transplant with you all. For the first time in a long time I feel excited and inspired to write again about everything I feel because I'm finally feeling new things. And that amazing. Love you all-- thanks for always sticking by me! x
With much love,
Lauren
Grey Script Ohio T: c/o Ohio Explored.
White Dress (similar): Delia's.
