Outfit Details
Hello everyone!
I missed you all so.much. It's been hard to be away from blogging, but I've just had lots of changes and things going on in the last month. Let's start with an obvious one: these glasses!
I grew up from kindergarden on wearing glasses. Certainly I don't have the fondest memories in them. I definitely was teased in school and they made me feel so nerdy and unattractive. I got contacts in 7th grade and haven't looked back (har har) since. My eye doctor suggested to me before my move to NYC that I contemplate getting them for work since I'd be staring at a screen all day. I went the first month of my job not using them, and then my eyes began straining so much I knew it was time...I picked these up at a lovely stand at the local Fort Green Flea Market one Saturday. The stand sells vintage glasses and sunglasses, as well as new but vintage inspired frames (which is what mine are). It feels very odd to be wearing glasses again, and I was a bit skeptical at first...but I find that I picked the perfect pair for me and that I can certainly see better. Win win no matter what those bullies said in the past about my four eyes ✌️
The past 6 weeks, unfortunately, have been plagued by debilitating health issues for me. It started at work one day where I got incredibly dizzy and couldn't look at my computer screen any longer. I would start to feel nauseous, light headed, and have tunnel vision. I thought the glasses might help, but they didn't. I started seeing a chiropractor since I've always had a bad neck...and that didn't help either. My symptoms got more severe, sustained, and varied in nature. I often feel like I'm out of my body and not in reality, which has been so scary. Feeling faint, tingling of my arms and legs, rapid heart beating, extreme tiredness...the list goes on. It's been affecting my work and my life. It's exhausting to wake up every day and be faced with the fact that I have to trudge through another day feeling sick again, unable to do anything mandatory, let alone fun. This is a big reason why I haven't been blogging. Most evenings I feel too terrible after work to do anything, and the rest of the evenings have been filled with different doctor's appointments trying to sort this all out. It's also been very hard to go through all this on my own, without my parents. I don't have any physicians or offices I regularly go to since I just moved here, so everything is very foreign and a real task to get done.
Today I had an appointment with a neurologist though who led me onto some good ideas to as what might be causing all of this. There's still no definite answer, so I'll probably wait till a later time to share a possible solution when I have one. I am just really, really hoping that this doctor is right and things will start to get better...I've been rather down since still being new to the city, transitioning into the workforce, and now dealing with my health. It's been a lot to take in!
THEN there was my birthday. Ah birthdays. How I hate them. I like celebrating others', just not my own. My own birthday always sneaks up on me because it's August first. July will be cruising by and then all of a sudden it's the 31st and I realize the next day is "it." This year I turned 23. A very 'old' age to me. When I was younger, this seemed to me to be a real adult age. And it kind of is. Done with school, moved out on my own, a "big girl" job. But yet I feel very unfulfilled and restless. I don't know what else I would have expected myself to have accomplished at only 23, but I guess just to feel more adult like (whatever that means). I know it might sound quite odd to a lot of you, but I also just hate all of the attention my birthday brings. I am so grateful for all of the well wishes and people who go out of their way to make my day special, but it just causes me so much unwarranted anxiety. I feel the need to repay these people, even if they don't expect to be. I just hate feeling like I "owe" people something. I'm a loner and introvert and have always done everything on my own. Partly because it's easier, partly because I don't like owning people anything. Money, time, love...anything. Birthdays are supposed to be fun, but for me they're always a let down of expectations I try not to have, but somehow develop anyways. Just glad that it's over for another year, and I can continue trying to make my new age feel better than the previous.
Is that it for changes? I think so! Still thrifting a bunch, still love coffee, and still adore you all ♥ Hope to be blogging more soon....it's coming up 8 years in November that I've been doing this whole internet thing. Crazy! Although I don't blog as much as I used to, I still love it and cherish the down time I have to do it.
What have ya'll been up to lately? Tell me about your lives! x
With much love, Lauren
